Overview
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Length: 105 minutes
Released: 22nd December 2023
Rating: 7.463 out of 10 from 772 users
MPAA Rating: R – Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Contains some adult material. Parents are urged to learn more about the film before listening or reading with their young children.
Language: English
Director: Andrew Haigh
Creator: Andrew Haigh,Taichi Yamada
Actors: Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Carter John Grout, Jamie Bell, Claire Foy
TagLine: All of us hurt. All of us hope. All of us love.
All of Us Strangers (2023) Trailer
All of Us Strangers (2023) Trailer
Hello.
Hi.
Saw you looking at me from the street.
I'm assuming you're not with anyone.
Never see you with anyone.
This your mum and dad?
Yeah.
They died just before I was 12.
I'm trying to write about them at the
moment.
How's it going?
Strangely.
Hi.
Hi.
Is this real?
Does it feel real?
Our boy's back home.
Our son.
Look at you.
You were just a boy.
And now you're not.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
I've always felt like a stranger in my
own family.
I'm always scared of something.
Always running away, do you remember?
Sorry I never came in your room when
you were crying.
It's funny, it doesn't take much...
...to make you feel the way you felt
back there again.
Do you think you'd like to be in
love with him?
I'd always felt alone.
This is a new feeling.
You and me.
You and me.
Together.
Into the world.
Hi.
Saw you looking at me from the street.
I'm assuming you're not with anyone.
Never see you with anyone.
This your mum and dad?
Yeah.
They died just before I was 12.
I'm trying to write about them at the
moment.
How's it going?
Strangely.
Hi.
Hi.
Is this real?
Does it feel real?
Our boy's back home.
Our son.
Look at you.
You were just a boy.
And now you're not.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
I've always felt like a stranger in my
own family.
I'm always scared of something.
Always running away, do you remember?
Sorry I never came in your room when
you were crying.
It's funny, it doesn't take much...
...to make you feel the way you felt
back there again.
Do you think you'd like to be in
love with him?
I'd always felt alone.
This is a new feeling.
You and me.
You and me.
Together.
Into the world.
Review for All of Us Strangers (2023)
There are movies you watch, and then there are movies that stick with you—All of Us Strangers is one of the latter. Andrew Haigh has made something very personal, very soft, and almost like a ghost in how it makes you feel. Watching it felt like walking into a memory, one that’s both known and strange, like a dream that stays even after you wake.
My Time With The Movie
From the first scene, I could feel the deep quiet around Adam (Andrew Scott). There’s something haunting about his life—living in a nearly empty London tower, writing about a past he can’t seem to leave behind. His world is soft and far away, as if he’s just passing through life, not really living it.
Then Harry (Paul Mescal) comes in, a stranger who sees Adam’s aloneness and reaches out to him in a way that feels both urgent and very human.
Their bond is quick, but not rushed. Haigh lets their closeness grow slowly, making every look, every pause, every touch matter. It’s rare to see queer love shown with such softness and truth, without stereotyps and full of real feeling.
But then there’s the other part of the story—Adam’s strange meetings with his long-gone parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell). These parts are where the movie goes beyond real life and into something more dream-like. Watching Adam sit at the kitchen table with his mum and dad, talking to them like they never left, was truly captivating.
The movie never fully explains these parts—are they ghosts? Are they memories? Or is this Adam’s way of healing? The mystery only makes the movie hit harder, making it feel like a soft hint of grief rather than a loud cry of sadness.
What Stood Out to Me
Andrew Scott’s Performance
I’ve always liked Andrew’s work, but here, he gives something really special. His Adam is so many-layered. There’s a silent sadness in his eyes, a slow way he moves, as if he’s been keeping feelings inside that are now close to coming out. Every time he’s with his parents, I felt my own heart squeeze. It’s the kind of acting that doesn’t need big speeches or big moments; it shines in the quiet, in the small gaps between words.
Paul Mescal’s Impact
Paul Mescal’s Harry is just right against Adam’s quiet sadness. He’s open yet sure, wanting yet careful.
His link with Scott is strong—there’s a truth in how they are together that feels so real, so natural. Watching their love grow was one of the most touching parts of the movie.
The Look & Sound
The views are stunning. The difference between Adam’s cold, modern flat and the warm light of his old home is sharp. Each scene is carefully made, with soft light that adds to the dreamy feel. The sound is just as gentle—long quiet parts, soft background sounds, and a beautifully simple score by Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch make the movie feel like a close whisper, not a loud shout.
Themes That Hit Me Hard
- Grief and Memory – The way the past stays, not letting go, was something I really felt. Adam’s journey isn’t just about facing his parents—it’s about finding peace with himself.
- Loneliness and Connection – This movie shows the deep pain of being alone in a way that feels very real. The space between Adam’s alone-ness and his need for closeness is at the center of the story.
- Queer Love & Acceptance – By changing the original book to have a queer main character, the write, Haigh adds a whole new layer of meaning. Adam’s fight isn’t just about love—it’s about accepting himself, about the burden of growing up in a world that didn’t always welcome him.
Final Thoughts
When the credits came, I just sat there, feeling the emotions flow over me. All of Us Strangers isn’t just a movie—it’s an experience. It’s deeply sad yet oddly comforting, like a soft reminder that love, in all its shapes, never really leaves us.
Would I recommend it? Without hesitation. But be prepared—it’s the kind of film that lingers in your bones long after you’ve left the cinema.
Rating: 9.5/10
Audio for All of Us Strangers (2023)
Audio and Transcript
Below is the audio for the movie, accompanied by subtitles and a transcript. The subtitles and transcript are to assist people who may have difficulty hearing the movie. To change the subtitle and transcript language, please use the language drop-down menu at the bottom left of the page.
All Of Us Strangers Audio
[somber music playing]
[music swells]
[man on TV] Meanwhile, work goes on for the Brits
who relocated to the Costa.
Running a bar in the sun is the classic British dream.
It can easily turn into a nightmare,
but Gary and Cherry from Macclesfield
have made it work.
- The Bamboo Bar is a success. - [people shout indistinctly on TV]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales softly]
[yawns]
[fridge whirring]
[fire alarm beeping]
[beeping continues]
[alarm continues beeping]
[car horn blares]
["The Power of Love" playing on TV]
[singing on TV] ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
[doorbell ringing]
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
[knocking at door]
[singing stops]
[door opens]
Hello.
Hello.
I saw you looking at me from the street.
I've seen you a bunch of times
coming and going with your head down.
One day, it'll be for real, that alarm.
- [chuckles] - [Adam] Hmm.
We're basically the only ones here.
Can you fucking believe that?
I mean, they haven't got security guards yet.
I'm Harry.
Adam.
How do you cope?
With, with what?
Listen.
[low rumbling]
[chuckles]
It's so quiet.
I mean, London's out there,
but we can't hear a fucking thing.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue] I play music, right,
but it's worse when it ends.
Yeah, I even got one of those, um,
white noise machines, right?
But it's like there's someone
in the corner of the room whispering about me.
I mean, we can't even open, the windows, but I guess
they don't really want us to jump.
It's bad for business. You know,
bodies broken on the concrete.
I mean, who's gonna move in then? [chuckles]
Drink?
It's Japanese.
It's meant to be the best in the world,
but I, I couldn't tell you why, so...
- No, thanks. - Okay, um...
Okay. How about I come in anyway?
If not for a drink,
then for whatever else you might want.
Um...
I don't think that's a good idea.
[chuckles] Do I scare you?
No.
We don't have to do anything if I'm not your type.
[softly] There's vampires at my door.
Huh.
[pensive music playing]
[elevator bell dings]
[somber music playing]
[upbeat music playing on radio]
[keyboard clacking]
- [clattering] - [upbeat music continues]
- [music on radio fades out] - [ominous music playing]
[lighter clatters]
[sighs]
[tense music playing]
[indistinct announcement on PA]
[train rumbles past]
[birds chirping]
[pensive music playing]
[children speaking indistinctly]
[leaves rustling]
[insects chittering]
[breathes deeply]
[bottles clink]
[tires screeching]
[screeching recedes]
Hi.
Hi.
I thought something strong for a night like this.
No thanks.
Shall we go?
- [lighter clicks] - Go where?
Home.
[doorbell rings]
She's gonna be over the moon to see ya.
Guess who I found loitering in the park.
[woman] Is it him?
Oh, yeah, it's definitely him.
Look in his eyes.
Yes, it is you.
Hi.
Hi.
Don't just stand there. Get yourself inside.
[Dad] So, where are you living now?
Not around here, I'm sure.
[Adam] Uh... I'm, I'm in London.
- [Mum] Fancy. - [Dad] Whereabouts?
[Mum] Do you live by yourself?
[Dad] Do you own your own place?
Uh, yeah, it's just a, it's just a flat.
What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya?
I told you he'd be doing well for himself, didn't I?
Can't be cheap living up there in the smoke.
And what is it that you do?
- I'm a writer. - And what did I tell you?
No, no, no.
I'm not particularly rich or anything. Not really.
Well, I always knew you'd be creative.
And what kind of writer are you?
You know how I love, um, Stephen King.
Carrie, Cujo, Different Seasons.
No, no, no. I'm not a proper writer.
I, I write scripts.
Uh, for film, TV. When I have to.
[chuckles] A writer.
God, this is so bloody exciting.
If I knew the neighbors, I'd run over and I'd tell them right now.
I've always said that writers know less about the real world
- than almost anyone else. - [Mum] Mmm.
What the hell would you know?
- [Adam chuckles] - You can barely write
- joined up. - That's true. But...
[Mum exhales]
A writer.
Our son.
[Dad] We're very bloody pleased
to see you doing so well, then.
Yeah.
Enough of that poofy shit.
- Our boy's back home. - [Mum] Hmm.
What are you puttin' on?
[Dad] Oh, you'll see.
["Is This Love" by Alison Moyet playing]
[Dad groans, exhales]
[Mum] Oh, do you remember
your little red car that you had?
You loved it and you wanted
to take it out onto the main road,
and drive it with all the big cars.
[Adam] Yeah. That's my first memory, actually.
[Dad] It was a Ford Granada that hit him, wasn't it?
- No, it, it was... - Yeah. It was.
It was racing green. Do you remember that?
- [Mum] Mmm. - [Dad] It, it, flung you
like a rag doll. You went so high up in the air.
- I'll never forget it. - Oh, but you were fine, though.
You were fine. You had a couple of bruises.
I think they thought I was exaggerating when I took you in.
What about that one Bonfire Night
when you lost it?
You remember that Bonfire Night?
How old were you? Six?
[Mum] No, he was not. He was older than that.
[Dad] Well, when the fireworks went off,
poor boy, started screaming and howling.
- I had to carry him all the way home. - [Adam] You did?
Yeah. You fell asleep on my shoulder.
I don't remember that.
[Dad] You were, you were really beside yourself.
You were really having a hard time,
and I was trying,
we were just trying to get you to enjoy the fireworks.
And you didn't...
[Mum] You've always been a sensitive boy, haven't you?
[Adam] Maybe.
Are you still afraid of fireworks now?
- [Adam chuckles] No! - [Mum] Do you know who you sound like?
- You sound just like my mother. - He does.
- Doesn't he? You noticed that? - [Dad] Yeah, no, he does.
[Mum] You did say something earlier.
[Dad] Yeah. It's when, it's when you said,
it's when you said, "I'm not a proper writer."
- [Mum] Say it again. - [Dad] Go on.
- [Mum] Say it again. - [Adam] Don't make me say it.
- [Dad] Just say it. - [Mum] Say, "a proper writer," again.
[Adam] Like Nan or like me?
- [Dad] Say it like you. Say it like you. - [Mum] "Like Nan or like me." [laughs]
It's so bloody lovely to see you again.
[Adam] Yeah.
Weren't sure if we ever would.
Here you are.
Here I am.
Come back soon, hmm?
One of us will be in.
Hmm?
Please.
Yeah, I will.
Good.
[Mum shivers]
- Let's go in, eh? - Night.
- Good night, sweetheart. - Good night, son.
Night.
[pensive music playing]
- Hello. - Hi.
I'm really sorry about the other night.
Oh, that's all right.
Don't worry about it.
- [elevator thuds] - See ya.
See ya.
I actually do like whiskey if you want, um,
wanna have a drink or...
[elevator doors close]
[exhales]
[clock ticking]
[grunts]
[sighs]
["Build" by the Housemartins playing on record player]
[keyboard clacking]
♪ Clambering men in big bad boots ♪
♪ Dug up my den, dug up my roots ♪
♪ Treated us like plasticine town ♪
[pen clicking]
♪ They built us up and knocked us down ♪
♪ From Meccano to Legoland ♪
♪ Here they come with a brick in their hand ♪
♪ Men with heads filled up with sand ♪
♪ Let's build... ♪
♪ Let's build a house... ♪
[Adam] Hi.
[music stops]
[Harry] Hello.
- Hi. - [elevator dings]
[chuckles] Hi.
- Do you wanna come in? - [Harry] Sure.
[Adam] Do you want a drink?
Yeah, what have you got?
Uh... I got vodka and some beer.
I got some weed if you prefer that.
Yeah, weed's better.
I'm off alcohol...
Do you like living here?
[Adam] I think I'll like it more
when people move in.
If people move in.
You got friends nearby?
No, not really.
Do you?
No, not really.
Most of my friends have moved out of London.
Wanna have gardens for their kids,
and they want to be near the grandparents so they can look after the kids.
[Harry] I'm guessing you didn't want to move too?
Uh, no.
What am I gonna do in Dorking?
It's not for people like me.
I'm just checking. You are queer, right?
- [both chuckling] - Yeah. Yeah.
- [Harry] That's good. - [chuckles]
Or gay.
- Right. - Queer, I'm not...
I can't get used to calling myself queer.
- It was always such an insult. - Hmm.
It's probably why we hate "gay" so much now.
I mean, it was always like, um,
[chuckles] Uh "Your haircut's gay,"
or "This sofa's gay,"
"Your trainers are gay,"
"Your schoolbag's gay." [shorts]
Yeah.
Queer does feel polite, somehow, though, you know.
It's like, um...
I don't know, it's like
all the dick sucking's been taken out.
[both chuckling]
Yeah. I'm assuming you're not with anyone.
I never see you with anyone.
- No. - No.
You often single?
- Am I often single? - Mmm-hmm.
Uh...
I suppose so. Yeah.
- Are you? - Yeah.
Yeah, but not for want of trying.
[clicks tongue]
How about I kiss ya?
Yeah, all right.
[both moaning]
[Adam] Ooh! [coughs]
- [clears throat] Sorry. - No.
- You all right? - No. Yeah, yeah.
- Just haven't done... - [laughs]
I haven't done this in a while.
I have to remember to, remember to breathe.
- Okay. - Yeah, yeah. It's okay.
Okay.
- It's okay. - You all right?
[Adam] Uh-huh.
Yeah.
[Harry grunts]
[music builds]
[Harry chuckles]
[Adam chuckles]
[Harry chuckles]
[chuckles]
[Harry] Is this you?
Afraid it is.
You were cute.
I hate my photos.
I was a fat kid.
Right, but,
when you're a fat kid, no one asks
why you don't have a girlfriend.
[both chuckling]
We'd have been friends for sure, though.
Bunked off football to spy on the boys.
Is this your dad?
Yeah.
He's handsome.
Yeah.
I'm... I'm trying to write about them at the moment.
Is that what you do?
[Adam] Yeah.
[Harry] How's it going?
[Adam] Uh, strangely.
I don't see my dad much.
Do you, do you see yours, no?
No, they died.
Just before I was twelve.
[Harry] Both of them?
Yeah. Yeah, car crash.
Not the most original of deaths.
[chuckles]
I'm really sorry.
No, thanks, it was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
Well.
I'd like to see you again.
Yeah, okay.
I could stay the night if you...
How about, actually, better idea...
Not tonight. Yeah?
No, no. I would like to s...
- No, you... - I would like to see you again.
- you don't need to explain. - I'm just...
Okay?
- [pensive music playing] - [Adam] Okay.
Thanks.
[train compartment clattering]
[rain pattering]
[doorbell ringing]
Sweetheart, you came back.
Of course I came back.
Jesus, you're sodden.
Come on, take it all off.
No, I'm, I'm not taking my clothes off.
Don't be silly, it's only me. Come on, arms up.
I'll put them in the dryer.
It's just me today. Is that all right?
- Yeah, of course it is. - Good.
There's so much I want to know.
I want to hear everything.
Right, go on. Upstairs, get changed.
My goodness. This is so exciting.
[chuckles]
[snickers]
[footsteps approaching]
[knocking on door]
[both chuckling]
[Mum] Suppose nothing's gonna fit you anymore, is it?
- Nope. - [Mum chuckles]
Yeah. Well, I brought you some of your dad's things instead.
- Okay. - [clicks tongue] Oh, look.
Come on, take these off as well,
and I'll put them in to dry with the rest.
- Uh... - [Mum sighs]
Oh, will you take them off, Adam?
Honestly.
[chuckles]
God, look at you.
What?
You were just a boy.
And now you're not.
No.
You look totally different, but it's still you.
Well, I thought you'd be hairier.
- Like your dad. - [chuckles]
Okay, sorry.
[Mum chuckles]
I like a hairy chest, myself.
[Adam chuckles] Okay.
Christ, you know who you remind me of?
Uh, who?
You look just like my dad.
Really?
[Mum] Hmm.
How I remember him anyway, when I was a little girl.
God, isn't that mad?
It's like seeing you both at exactly the same time.
[timer dings]
[gasps] Oh.
I've made your favorite. Well, I hope it's still your favorite.
I'll just go and pop the kettle on,
and then you can tell me everything.
[pensive music playing]
Delicious.
[Mum] Good.
Now, your dad told me not to ask,
and I don't see a wedding ring,
so I'm presuming you're not married,
but have you got a girlfriend?
Hmm?
I'm picturing her with brown hair,
not too skinny.
Smart, obviously.
Well?
Well, what?
[Mum] Do you?
I don't have a girlfriend. No.
That's a shame.
I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not into girls,
[clears throat] into women.
What do you mean?
I mean...
I'm gay. [chuckles]
As in homosexual?
As in that, yeah.
- Really? - Yeah.
Since when?
Uh, since a long time.
How long?
Forever.
You don't look gay.
Well, I'm not sure what that means.
It means what it means. You know what it means.
[Adam chuckles]
Well, bet you're glad
you don't know the neighbors now.
Hmm. I must admit I'm a bit surprised.
Not really sure what I feel about it.
What, you didn't, didn't think it would be a possibility?
No, of course not.
What parent wants to think that about their child?
No parent that I know.
Well, I'm very okay with it, so.
But aren't people nasty to you?
Um, no, no.
No, things are different now.
What, so they aren't nasty?
Not out loud, anyway.
Well, does everybody know?
I mean, are you open about it? I mean...
I don't know, down the High Street at WHSmith's?
Well, it depends on the, on the street.
Yeah. Everybody knows, everyone's fine.
Well, don't you want to get married and have kids?
I can have kids.
Men can marry. Women, too.
What, to each other?
- Yeah. - Why?
What do you mean "why"?
Well, isn't that like having your cake and eating it?
So, do you want to get married and have kids?
I don't know. It wasn't a possibility
for such a long time.
So, I didn't think it was worth the effort
of wanting to get married and have kids.
[chuckles]
[Mum] Huh.
Oh. [mumbles]
[water running]
- You okay? - Hmm, I'm fine.
Sure?
[exhales] I suppose I never did know what was going on
in that odd little head of yours.
You were always running away. Do you remember?
Yeah.
[Mum] There was that time
that you got as far as the train station,
but then you'd lost your money
and so you couldn't buy a ticket.
Do you remember that?
[Adam] Yes, it was Granny's five-pound note.
Yeah, that was it.
Where were you hoping to go?
Don't know.
London, I guess.
[Mum] London?
God.
Oh, there was that time that you got as far as
the bottom of the garden, but then you cut your thumb
on an old milk bottle and you came running back up
all sheepish with blood all over your shirt,
and you were banging and banging
- on that window to be let in. - Yeah.
There it is.
Just.
[Adam sniffles] Hmm.
They say it's a very lonely kind of life.
[tense music playing]
They don't actually say that anymore.
[Mum] So, you're not lonely?
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
Not really.
Not really.
Oh, God. And what about this awful, ghastly disease?
I've seen the adverts on the, on the news, and the,
and with the gravestone.
Should I be worried about that?
No. Jesus.
Everything's different now.
Everything's different.
Well, I guess I wouldn't know about that.
Your clothes will be dry now.
You should take these flapjacks with you,
if you want. I won't be eating them.
[train whooshing]
[pensive music playing]
[Adam grunts]
[shoes thudding on floor]
[elevator dings]
[pensive music playing]
What's wrong?
[elevator dings]
I'm okay.
I just got a bit of a chill.
Hey, you're hot.
Yeah.
I was just, I was just...
I just got caught in the rain.
Okay.
Well, why don't I run you a hot bath?
My nan says there's literally nothing
a hot bath couldn't solve.
I don't really like baths.
Fuck off. Who doesn't like baths?
[water running]
You don't need to be shy around me.
Yes, that's easier said than done.
[Harry chuckles]
Would you like me to close my eyes?
- Yes, please. - Okay. [chuckles]
Better?
- Yeah. - [Harry] Hmm.
[Harry] Been thinking about you all week, today.
[Adam] Hmm.
[Harry] Was thinking about
watching crappy TV with you on a Friday night.
[Harry] Eating takeaway on your sofa.
Watching all the episodes of Top of the Pops
from before I was born.
[both chuckling]
[Harry] Yeah. I thought about something else, too.
Thought about fucking you.
- Yeah? - [Harry] Yeah.
Or you fuck me. I don't really care which.
Are you into that?
Yeah.
It's okay if you're not. We all don't need to be into fucking.
Well, I wasn't for the longest time,
for obvious reasons.
[Harry] Obvious reasons?
I thought that if I fucked anybody, I'd die.
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine, isn't it?
[Harry] A little.
[Harry moaning]
[moaning]
[Adam] Yeah. Come on.
[gentle music playing]
You said the other day you don't see your dad much.
Yeah.
What about your mum?
Yeah, same.
How come?
They know you're queer?
Yeah, course.
- [Adam] Are they okay with it? - Yeah.
They're okay.
I mean, they're really old school.
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
Yeah. But they got used to it, sort of, it's just,
they don't say too much.
You could say that I have
drifted to the edge.
Or right up to the edge, almost.
Over the edge.
What's that mean?
I'm edge of the family.
My sister and her kids,
and my older brother, who just got married,
they've all, they got this spot in the center.
But it's okay.
[Adam] Why is it okay?
Because,
I don't go home much.
Does that make you sad?
Um. No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
Why?
[chuckling]
Um... [inhales]
I've always felt like a stranger in my own family.
And then
coming out just puts a name
to that difference that's always been there.
So, in the end,
it's not really anyone's fault.
Hmm. What's wrong?
It's funny.
Things are better now. Course they are,
but doesn't take much to make you feel the way you felt,
back there again, skin all raw.
Am I still hot?
[Harry] Just a little.
You wanna stay the night?
[Harry chuckles]
[trees rustling]
[inaudible conversation]
[doorbell ringing]
[Dad] Sure she won't be long.
It's okay.
Just wanted to talk to her.
Yeah, I know you do.
This was your granddad's favorite.
I never really liked it much at the time,
but it's grown on me.
If you wanna see your mum really lose her shit,
go ahead and break that bloody thing.
["l Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" playing]
Come on, then, lad. Sit yourself down.
♪ I don't want
♪ To set the world on fire ♪
♪ I just want to start... I
Well, she told you, then?
Was scared you wouldn't come back.
But you know what your mum's like.
You know, don't be, don't be too disappointed in her.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, she just needs to rearrange some things in her head,
and all the stories that she's built up.
Yeah. She'll soon realize it's not actually about her.
What about you?
What about me?
What do you think?
Well, I mean, it was hardly a shock.
I always knew you were a bit tutti-frutti.
Couldn't throw a ball for shit,
no matter how many times I tried to teach you.
- Jesus. - Couldn't for shit.
Couldn't do it.
You make me sound like a horrible cliché.
Well, can you throw a ball?
- Not at all. - Well, there you go.
[Adam chuckles]
[Dad chuckles]
♪ To set the world on fire... ♪
Would you have liked me to have known?
I don't know.
I would hear you crying in your room after school.
Did the boys bully you, then?
Not just the boys.
What would they do?
Oh, call me a girl,
ignore me, refuse to play with me,
stick my head down the toilet,
flick drawing pins in my face.
Christ's sake.
Yeah. Well, you know,
kids are little cunts, aren't they?
[clears throat]
♪ And that one desire is you ♪
♪ And I know... ♪
So, why didn't you come into my room
if you heard me crying?
Why didn't you tell me what was happening at school?
You know, you answer me first.
Be honest.
I just didn't want to think of you as the kind of boy
that the other lads would pick on.
And I knew that if I was at your school,
I'd probably have picked on you, too.
Yeah, I think I always probably thought that, anyway.
Probably why I didn't tell you
what was happening to me at school.
♪ Set the world on... ♪
Well...
♪ Fire ♪
[Dad exhales]
♪ I just want to start ♪
♪ Aflame... I
- [music stops] - You know, when she told me,
it did make me think about all the jokes that we make,
and, you know, we did impressions
of your English teacher,
when he'd mince around with his limp wrist.
[chuckles]
You told me not to cross my legs,
like a woman, over, and over, and over again.
Did 1?
[Adam] Yeah, I still...
Still think about it every time I cross my legs.
I have good memories, too.
[Dad] Yeah, I hope so. Fuck.
I hope so. I hope you did. [chuckles]
Remember you used to love decorating the tree.
[Dad chuckles]
That's...
[Adam] You were crazy for it, every year.
And you'd always let me, um,
put the fairy on top of the tree.
The fairy. I did.
[clock ticking]
[Dad sobs]
I'm sorry I never came in your room when you were crying.
No, really, it's okay.
[Dad] No, it's not okay, though, really, is it?
- It's not. - Dad. Dad, I get it.
It was, it was so long...
[sobbing]
[voice breaks] It was so long ago. Stop!
[sobs]
Can I hug you now?
Yeah, please.
[sniffles]
[sniffling]
[Dad] You're all right, son.
You're all right.
[pensive music playing]
[Harry chuckles]
[Adam] After this,
I wanna go out.
You,
- and me... - [Harry moaning]
- [Adam] ...together... - [Harry chuckling]
[Adam] ...into the world.
["l Want a Dog" by Pet Shop Boys playing over speakers]
[indistinct chattering]
♪ My dog will bark at any passersby ♪
♪ Oh, you can get lonely ♪
♪ I want a dog... ♪
- What do you want to drink? - Uh... A pint.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Whoops, sorry.
Sorry.
Ah, fuck. I've missed this feeling.
I can't hear ya.
Do you dance?
If I'm wasted enough.
Then let's get wasted enough.
[dance music playing]
C'mon.
[Harry] Yeah.
[Adam] Where'd you get this?
[Harry] Found it in my wallet.
Fuck knows how long it's been there.
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
I think that's ketamine.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
Have you done it before?
No.
- Will you look after me? - I'll do my best.
- Okay. That'll have to do. - Okay.
["Death of a Party" by Blur playing over speakers]
♪ The death of the party ♪
♪ Came as no surprise ♪
♪ Why did we bother I
♪ Should have stayed away ♪
♪ Another night ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ Gently on the shelf ♪
[inaudible conversation]
♪ Another night ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ Gently on the shelf ♪
♪ Another party ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ The death of the party ♪
♪ Came as no surprise ♪
- [music goes off tune] - [tempo drops]
[screaming]
[music fades out]
[man on TV speaking indistinctly]
[man on TV] ...for the next 30 minutes,
some surely good tunes coming your way.
Like down here, we have
at number four, The Pet Shop Boys
and You Were Always on My Mind.
["Always on My Mind" by Pet Shop Boys playing on TV]
[fire crackling]
- [Dad grunts] - [Mum] Adam.
What's wrong?
Oh, you're really hot.
No, he's really hot.
What?
Now, here you go.
Come on.
Squeeze in, squeeze in, squeeze in.
♪ Little things I should have said and done ♪
♪ I never took the time ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
[singing] ♪ Maybe I didn't hold you ♪
♪ All those lonely, lonely times ♪
♪ And I guess I never told you ♪
♪ I'm so happy that you're mine ♪
♪ If I made you feel second best ♪
♪ I'm so sorry I was blind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
[both singing] ♪ Tellme ♪
♪ Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died ♪
♪ Give me ♪
♪ One more chance to keep you satisfied ♪
♪ Satisfied ♪
[Dad vocalizing]
Okay, get together.
Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready? I'm gonna press it.
Okay, it's going.
All right, we have to be quick ‘cause it goes off in a sec.
It's about ten seconds.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
- Here we go! - Merry Christmas. [chuckles]
- Merry Christmas! - Go...
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ Tellme ♪
[music slows down, goes off tune]
Is this real?
[Mum] Does it feel real?
Yeah.
There you go, then.
[Adam] For how long, though?
I can't answer that.
I suppose we don't get to decide when it's over.
[Adam] You're not going out now, are you?
[Mum echoes] Where would we go?
The Walshes'.
[Mum] The Walshes'?
The Walshes'.
[Adam] No, no. Wait.
Promise me you're not gonna go out now.
[Mum] I promise.
We're just gonna be asleep next door.
Promise. [echoes]
All right?
Get some sleep.
[door closes]
[sighs]
[Adam] No.
[knocking on door]
[Mum] What is it, sweetheart?
I can't sleep.
Well, do you wanna get in?
- Can 1? - Course you can.
[Dad grunts]
Still smells the same in here.
You'd creep in here night after night,
saying you couldn't sleep.
You're always scared of something.
Murderers breaking in, or rabies,
or nuclear war.
Do people still get rabies?
- No. - Oh!
I was desperate for you to grow up
just so I could get a good night's sleep.
[clock ticking]
Sorry.
What are you sorry for?
I'm the sorry one.
I should've relished you driving me bananas.
Where did you go?
You know, afterwards.
I lived with Granny.
She took me to Dublin.
Yeah, I thought so.
Why didn't you live with his lot?
Why didn't you live with Granny May?
They said she was too heartbroken.
About what?
Well, she'd lost her son.
Oh, I see. But my mother was fine
about losing her only daughter?
No, no.
She was not fine.
I just can't believe that she
got to look after you and I didn't.
Are any of them still around now?
No.
Guess they wouldn't be, would they?
And how did you get on over there with Mum?
Did you manage to fit in better at school?
I made sure I did.
I hate that we weren't around
when you needed us most, sweetheart.
And I hate even more
that I wasn't there before that, not really.
No, that's not true.
Come on. Well, I was hardly Mother of the Year, was I?
But I like to think that
I would've got better at it in time.
You know, given time.
You know, when I was a teenager,
or even later, into my twenties,
I used to plot it all out.
What do you mean?
What we might've done together
in intricate detail. Trips to the Whitgift Centre,
birthdays,
trips to London,
the Planetarium, the London Dungeon.
Oh, I always wanted to go there.
[chuckles]
- I know. - [chuckles]
There were holidays
that we might've gone on together.
Did we make it to Disneyland?
We did.
When I was 14.
- It rained nonstop. - Oh!
And they shut down Space Mountain.
And we fought every day.
Why did we have to fight?
Because that's what everyone did with their parents.
They fought and bickered
and pretended that they
were ruining each other's lives.
Did we make up?
No, we didn't need to make up.
We were together,
SO,
so it didn't matter.
You okay?
- [sobs] no. - [Dad] You're okay, son.
You're okay.
What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.
[vehicle approaching]
[gravel crunching]
[car door opens]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[door closes]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[knocking at door]
[phone ringing]
[gasps]
[eerie music playing]
[indistinct announcement on PA]
[eerie music playing]
[coughing]
[brakes squealing]
[screaming]
[Adam] Mum? Mum?
- [yells] - [Harry shushing]
[Adam breathing heavily]
You're okay.
You're okay.
[Adam sobbing]
- What day... What day is it? - Sunday.
Why is it...
How come... How... Why is it still Sunday?
[Harry] You kept screaming out for your parents
over and over again in the club.
And then
I didn't know what to do, so I just
took you back here and lay with you till you fell asleep.
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Harry] You looked so scared.
I am.
[Harry] Hey, come here. Come here.
Hey, come here.
- [shushing] - [Adam groaning]
I'm here. It's okay.
[Adam crying]
[Adam continues crying]
You're okay.
[Adam] I was sleeping in their bed
the night they went out.
I was meant to go with them.
To Christmas drinks at the Walshes'.
Around midnight, um,
two police came to the door. A man and a woman.
He had really beautiful, kind eyes
and this thick, dark stubble.
Looked like it had been drawn on.
The car skidded on black ice. [sighs]
Both of them had been drinking.
Dad was killed right away, but they took Mum to, uh,
Saint Mary's in Croydon, and she died a few days later.
Did you get to see her?
What do you mean? To say goodbye?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
No.
My granny thought it would be too scarring.
[Adam sniffles]
Mum went through the windscreen
and she lost an eye,
so she was pretty fucked up.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I went looking for that eye.
I don't know why. Didn't want anyone else to find it.
Thought it would be on the side of the road.
[chuckling]
staring up at me. "Hi." [chuckles]
I did find a tiny piece
of the windscreen glass, though.
In my head, it had blood on it,
but maybe that's not true.
The nurse said that Mum woke up
just before she died.
She must've been so confused. Can't hardly see and...
Dad wasn't there, I wasn't there.
I can't even begin to imagine how you felt.
How lonely you must've been.
Yeah, but, like, I'd always felt lonely,
even before.
This was a new feeling.
Like...
a terror,
that I'd always be alone now.
And then, as I got older, that feeling just,
just solidified.
Just a...
Just a knot here all the time.
And then losing them,
it just got tangled up with all the other stuff,
about being gay,
and just feeling like...
the future doesn't matter.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
I know how easy it can be to stop caring about yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Adam.
Will you come with me?
[chuckles]
Where to?
Just let me show you.
[doorbell ringing]
Whose house is this?
My parents'.
Yeah. Who lives here now?
It's okay. Don't worry.
Hello?
Adam.
[knocking on door]
[Adam] Hello?
- Where are they? - [Harry] Who?
[Adam] Hello?
[Harry] Who?
[Adam] My parents.
This is our house. This is our kitchen.
This is our wallpaper. That's our table where we had
fish and chips every Friday night
so my mother could pretend
we were still Catholic.
Adam, I want to go home. Let me take you home.
- This is my home. - No, it used to be.
- It's not anymore. Adam! - Mum?
- Dad? - Adam, listen.
Let me take you home.
You go home!
You go home. I'm not going.
[Adam] Where are they?
Where are they?
[banging on door]
Mum?
- Adam, stop it. - Dad?
[eerie music playing]
[Adam] Can you see them?
Let me in.
Please.
Please let me in.
Please let me in.
[glass shattering]
[Dad whispering] He has to stop now.
He has to get on with his life.
He can't keep coming here.
We're not allowing him to get on with his life.
[Mum whispering] I think we are helping him.
[Dad] No, we're not. It's not normal.
- It's not... - Why didn't you let us in?
Where is he? Is he here? Is Harry here?
[Mum] No.
We did see him, though.
But I wanted you to meet him.
I know, but I don't think this works like that.
Looked like a handsome fellow, though.
Is he your special friend?
Do you mean my boyfriend?
Is he my boyfriend? You can say it.
Okay. Well, is he your boyfriend?
Um... Uh, I don't know.
Are you in love with him?
[Adam chuckles]
Why is that so strange?
I don't know, I've never been in love before, so...
Not really.
So, this...
I don't know if this is it.
[Mum] Sweetheart.
Well,
he certainly seems to care about you a whole heap,
in my not so humble opinion.
Do you think you'd like to be in love with him?
Yeah?
[soft music playing]
- Son, I think we... - No.
Don't say it.
- Please don't say it. - No, we have to.
We have to.
Um...
Me and your mum,
we think that it's best you don't come visit us anymore.
All right.
You're just gonna keep coming and coming, I know you are.
And we can see what this is doing to you.
It's not doing anything to me.
Yes, itis.
It won't let you move on.
Okay, well, I'll come less.
I'll come once a year. I'll come at Christmas.
Come on, lad, we...
You have to have known that this wasn't gonna last forever.
I'm not asking for it to last forever.
I'm just...
It hasn't been long enough.
Hasn't been close to long enough.
I know, but it never could be, could it?
Hey, listen.
I've got an idea.
How's about...
How's about we go to your favorite place
in the whole bloody world, huh?
I'm sure it's still open.
It's the next best thing to Disneyland.
It's fucking cheaper too.
[Adam laughing]
[Adam sighs]
What do you think?
[engine whirring]
["If I Could See the World (Through the Eyes of a Child)" playing]
♪ If I could see the world ♪
♪ Through the eyes of a child I
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
♪ This would be ♪
♪ There'd be no trouble...
[Adam] Uh, can I get the "family special," please?
[server] That's a lot of food.
That's okay.
Not really very hungry.
- No, me neither. - No.
Hey, I wanna ask you something.
- God, no, don't ask. - No, no, I'm gonna ask him.
- Was it quick? - Oh, Jesus.
- I told you not to ask. - You're the... You wanna know.
Yeah, but what if it was slow and horribly painful?
- Yeah, but what difference does it make? - Ilt makes a big difference.
[Adam] It was quick.
- Was it? - [Adam] Yeah.
For both of us?
Mmm-hmm.
[Mum] No, you don't seem sure.
Don't be fibbing now.
It was quick.
It was really quick.
Well, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but that's a relief, isn't it? Of sorts.
It's been playing on my mind, that has.
What do you think we should say
to each other? [chuckles]
Not sure I have much wisdom to share.
I don't know, maybe, Adam being older,
should be sharing some with us.
Maybe we shouldn't say anything.
Maybe.
Although, I will say that getting
to know you has made us very proud, son.
I haven't done anything to be proud of.
- I've just muddled through. - No, but you got through.
Some tough times, I'm sure,
and you're still here.
That's what we're proud of.
Yeah.
Dad?
[Dad] Hmm?
Stay. Stay. Stay a bit longer.
[Dad] No, I don't think so, son.
[Mum] Love you, darling.
You do?
Sometimes, I wasn't so sure.
Whatever problems we had,
I'm glad we got to be together at the end.
Me too.
Now, I...
I know I was never good at saying it.
I just couldn't get the words out.
I do love you very much.
Somehow, even more, now that I know you.
It's important that you believe me.
I do.
[voice breaks] And I love you very much.
Dad?
[patting on hand]
Dad, did... Dad, did you hear that?
[Mum sobs] Oh, Adam, are you there?
I can't see you. Why can't I see you?
I'm here, Mum.
[Mum] Oh, there you are.
I can feel you.
Skin's lovely and warm.
Now, you listen.
You promise me
that you're gonna try with this Harry boy.
Yeah.
I'd have liked him. I know it.
He might need a bit of taking care of, mind you.
He's got such a sad face.
- Do you hear me? - Yeah.
Yeah, I hear you.
That's good.
I hope you make each other a bit happier.
Such a kind and gentle boy.
- [server] Enjoy. - Thank you.
[Adam exhales]
[somber music playing]
[beeps]
[music fades out]
[TV static buzzing]
[buzzing stops]
[dripping]
Harry?
[ominous music playing]
[coughing]
[door rattles, opens]
What are you doing down here?
I came to find you.
Why are you here?
l... I said goodbye to them, so I came to see you.
[Harry exhales]
[Harry groans]
- It's okay. - [Harry] It's not okay, though, is it?
I was so scared that night. I just needed to not be alone.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I was too scared
to let you in.
I'm in there, aren't I?
- Let's just go upstairs. - No, no, no.
I just need you to tell me, okay?
Because I can smell it. I can...
taste it in my throat.
[exhales]
How come no one found me?
Where was my mum and my dad?
- I found you... - [voice breaks] I know,
but I... Adam, I don't want you
to see me like that in there. It's...
You're not in there. You're not in there.
You're not in there.
You're here.
You're here.
You're here.
With me.
Let's just go upstairs.
[Harry chuckles]
I saw her, you know.
Your mum.
Your dad, too, at the house.
They saw you, too.
They did?
Mmm-hmm.
My dad says you're a handsome fellow.
[Harry chuckling]
Hmm.
[Adam] They'd have loved you.
They both would.
That's good.
Did you get to say what you wanted to say?
I don't know, but I got to be with them.
[Harry] It's good that you were all together.
Yeah.
I'm scared.
I know.
But I'm here with you.
[Harry] Don't let this get tangled up again.
Okay, come on.
Okay.
[grunting]
[exhales]
It's so quiet.
Never could stand how quiet this place was.
Will you put a record on?
- What would you like? - You choose.
["The Power of Love" playing]
"I'll protect you from the hooded claw."
"Keep the vampires from your door."
♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Dreams are like angels ♪
♪ They keep bad at bay, bad at bay ♪
♪ Love is the light ♪
♪ Scaring darkness away, yeah ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ I'll protect you from the hooded claw ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door ♪
♪ When the chips are down I'll be around ♪
♪ With my undying, death-defying love for you ♪
♪ Envy will hurt itself ♪
♪ Let yourself be beautiful ♪
♪ Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls I
♪ Love is like an energy ♪
♪ Rushin' an' rushin' inside of me, eh ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ This time we go sublime ♪
♪ Lovers entwine, divine, divine ♪
♪ Love is danger, love is pleasure
♪ Love is pure, the only treasure ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ A sky-scraping dove ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ I'll protect you from the hooded claw ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door ♪
[music swells]
[man on TV] Meanwhile, work goes on for the Brits
who relocated to the Costa.
Running a bar in the sun is the classic British dream.
It can easily turn into a nightmare,
but Gary and Cherry from Macclesfield
have made it work.
- The Bamboo Bar is a success. - [people shout indistinctly on TV]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales softly]
[yawns]
[fridge whirring]
[fire alarm beeping]
[beeping continues]
[alarm continues beeping]
[car horn blares]
["The Power of Love" playing on TV]
[singing on TV] ♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
[doorbell ringing]
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
[knocking at door]
[singing stops]
[door opens]
Hello.
Hello.
I saw you looking at me from the street.
I've seen you a bunch of times
coming and going with your head down.
One day, it'll be for real, that alarm.
- [chuckles] - [Adam] Hmm.
We're basically the only ones here.
Can you fucking believe that?
I mean, they haven't got security guards yet.
I'm Harry.
Adam.
How do you cope?
With, with what?
Listen.
[low rumbling]
[chuckles]
It's so quiet.
I mean, London's out there,
but we can't hear a fucking thing.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue] I play music, right,
but it's worse when it ends.
Yeah, I even got one of those, um,
white noise machines, right?
But it's like there's someone
in the corner of the room whispering about me.
I mean, we can't even open, the windows, but I guess
they don't really want us to jump.
It's bad for business. You know,
bodies broken on the concrete.
I mean, who's gonna move in then? [chuckles]
Drink?
It's Japanese.
It's meant to be the best in the world,
but I, I couldn't tell you why, so...
- No, thanks. - Okay, um...
Okay. How about I come in anyway?
If not for a drink,
then for whatever else you might want.
Um...
I don't think that's a good idea.
[chuckles] Do I scare you?
No.
We don't have to do anything if I'm not your type.
[softly] There's vampires at my door.
Huh.
[pensive music playing]
[elevator bell dings]
[somber music playing]
[upbeat music playing on radio]
[keyboard clacking]
- [clattering] - [upbeat music continues]
- [music on radio fades out] - [ominous music playing]
[lighter clatters]
[sighs]
[tense music playing]
[indistinct announcement on PA]
[train rumbles past]
[birds chirping]
[pensive music playing]
[children speaking indistinctly]
[leaves rustling]
[insects chittering]
[breathes deeply]
[bottles clink]
[tires screeching]
[screeching recedes]
Hi.
Hi.
I thought something strong for a night like this.
No thanks.
Shall we go?
- [lighter clicks] - Go where?
Home.
[doorbell rings]
She's gonna be over the moon to see ya.
Guess who I found loitering in the park.
[woman] Is it him?
Oh, yeah, it's definitely him.
Look in his eyes.
Yes, it is you.
Hi.
Hi.
Don't just stand there. Get yourself inside.
[Dad] So, where are you living now?
Not around here, I'm sure.
[Adam] Uh... I'm, I'm in London.
- [Mum] Fancy. - [Dad] Whereabouts?
[Mum] Do you live by yourself?
[Dad] Do you own your own place?
Uh, yeah, it's just a, it's just a flat.
What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya?
I told you he'd be doing well for himself, didn't I?
Can't be cheap living up there in the smoke.
And what is it that you do?
- I'm a writer. - And what did I tell you?
No, no, no.
I'm not particularly rich or anything. Not really.
Well, I always knew you'd be creative.
And what kind of writer are you?
You know how I love, um, Stephen King.
Carrie, Cujo, Different Seasons.
No, no, no. I'm not a proper writer.
I, I write scripts.
Uh, for film, TV. When I have to.
[chuckles] A writer.
God, this is so bloody exciting.
If I knew the neighbors, I'd run over and I'd tell them right now.
I've always said that writers know less about the real world
- than almost anyone else. - [Mum] Mmm.
What the hell would you know?
- [Adam chuckles] - You can barely write
- joined up. - That's true. But...
[Mum exhales]
A writer.
Our son.
[Dad] We're very bloody pleased
to see you doing so well, then.
Yeah.
Enough of that poofy shit.
- Our boy's back home. - [Mum] Hmm.
What are you puttin' on?
[Dad] Oh, you'll see.
["Is This Love" by Alison Moyet playing]
[Dad groans, exhales]
[Mum] Oh, do you remember
your little red car that you had?
You loved it and you wanted
to take it out onto the main road,
and drive it with all the big cars.
[Adam] Yeah. That's my first memory, actually.
[Dad] It was a Ford Granada that hit him, wasn't it?
- No, it, it was... - Yeah. It was.
It was racing green. Do you remember that?
- [Mum] Mmm. - [Dad] It, it, flung you
like a rag doll. You went so high up in the air.
- I'll never forget it. - Oh, but you were fine, though.
You were fine. You had a couple of bruises.
I think they thought I was exaggerating when I took you in.
What about that one Bonfire Night
when you lost it?
You remember that Bonfire Night?
How old were you? Six?
[Mum] No, he was not. He was older than that.
[Dad] Well, when the fireworks went off,
poor boy, started screaming and howling.
- I had to carry him all the way home. - [Adam] You did?
Yeah. You fell asleep on my shoulder.
I don't remember that.
[Dad] You were, you were really beside yourself.
You were really having a hard time,
and I was trying,
we were just trying to get you to enjoy the fireworks.
And you didn't...
[Mum] You've always been a sensitive boy, haven't you?
[Adam] Maybe.
Are you still afraid of fireworks now?
- [Adam chuckles] No! - [Mum] Do you know who you sound like?
- You sound just like my mother. - He does.
- Doesn't he? You noticed that? - [Dad] Yeah, no, he does.
[Mum] You did say something earlier.
[Dad] Yeah. It's when, it's when you said,
it's when you said, "I'm not a proper writer."
- [Mum] Say it again. - [Dad] Go on.
- [Mum] Say it again. - [Adam] Don't make me say it.
- [Dad] Just say it. - [Mum] Say, "a proper writer," again.
[Adam] Like Nan or like me?
- [Dad] Say it like you. Say it like you. - [Mum] "Like Nan or like me." [laughs]
It's so bloody lovely to see you again.
[Adam] Yeah.
Weren't sure if we ever would.
Here you are.
Here I am.
Come back soon, hmm?
One of us will be in.
Hmm?
Please.
Yeah, I will.
Good.
[Mum shivers]
- Let's go in, eh? - Night.
- Good night, sweetheart. - Good night, son.
Night.
[pensive music playing]
- Hello. - Hi.
I'm really sorry about the other night.
Oh, that's all right.
Don't worry about it.
- [elevator thuds] - See ya.
See ya.
I actually do like whiskey if you want, um,
wanna have a drink or...
[elevator doors close]
[exhales]
[clock ticking]
[grunts]
[sighs]
["Build" by the Housemartins playing on record player]
[keyboard clacking]
♪ Clambering men in big bad boots ♪
♪ Dug up my den, dug up my roots ♪
♪ Treated us like plasticine town ♪
[pen clicking]
♪ They built us up and knocked us down ♪
♪ From Meccano to Legoland ♪
♪ Here they come with a brick in their hand ♪
♪ Men with heads filled up with sand ♪
♪ Let's build... ♪
♪ Let's build a house... ♪
[Adam] Hi.
[music stops]
[Harry] Hello.
- Hi. - [elevator dings]
[chuckles] Hi.
- Do you wanna come in? - [Harry] Sure.
[Adam] Do you want a drink?
Yeah, what have you got?
Uh... I got vodka and some beer.
I got some weed if you prefer that.
Yeah, weed's better.
I'm off alcohol...
Do you like living here?
[Adam] I think I'll like it more
when people move in.
If people move in.
You got friends nearby?
No, not really.
Do you?
No, not really.
Most of my friends have moved out of London.
Wanna have gardens for their kids,
and they want to be near the grandparents so they can look after the kids.
[Harry] I'm guessing you didn't want to move too?
Uh, no.
What am I gonna do in Dorking?
It's not for people like me.
I'm just checking. You are queer, right?
- [both chuckling] - Yeah. Yeah.
- [Harry] That's good. - [chuckles]
Or gay.
- Right. - Queer, I'm not...
I can't get used to calling myself queer.
- It was always such an insult. - Hmm.
It's probably why we hate "gay" so much now.
I mean, it was always like, um,
[chuckles] Uh "Your haircut's gay,"
or "This sofa's gay,"
"Your trainers are gay,"
"Your schoolbag's gay." [shorts]
Yeah.
Queer does feel polite, somehow, though, you know.
It's like, um...
I don't know, it's like
all the dick sucking's been taken out.
[both chuckling]
Yeah. I'm assuming you're not with anyone.
I never see you with anyone.
- No. - No.
You often single?
- Am I often single? - Mmm-hmm.
Uh...
I suppose so. Yeah.
- Are you? - Yeah.
Yeah, but not for want of trying.
[clicks tongue]
How about I kiss ya?
Yeah, all right.
[both moaning]
[Adam] Ooh! [coughs]
- [clears throat] Sorry. - No.
- You all right? - No. Yeah, yeah.
- Just haven't done... - [laughs]
I haven't done this in a while.
I have to remember to, remember to breathe.
- Okay. - Yeah, yeah. It's okay.
Okay.
- It's okay. - You all right?
[Adam] Uh-huh.
Yeah.
[Harry grunts]
[music builds]
[Harry chuckles]
[Adam chuckles]
[Harry chuckles]
[chuckles]
[Harry] Is this you?
Afraid it is.
You were cute.
I hate my photos.
I was a fat kid.
Right, but,
when you're a fat kid, no one asks
why you don't have a girlfriend.
[both chuckling]
We'd have been friends for sure, though.
Bunked off football to spy on the boys.
Is this your dad?
Yeah.
He's handsome.
Yeah.
I'm... I'm trying to write about them at the moment.
Is that what you do?
[Adam] Yeah.
[Harry] How's it going?
[Adam] Uh, strangely.
I don't see my dad much.
Do you, do you see yours, no?
No, they died.
Just before I was twelve.
[Harry] Both of them?
Yeah. Yeah, car crash.
Not the most original of deaths.
[chuckles]
I'm really sorry.
No, thanks, it was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
Well.
I'd like to see you again.
Yeah, okay.
I could stay the night if you...
How about, actually, better idea...
Not tonight. Yeah?
No, no. I would like to s...
- No, you... - I would like to see you again.
- you don't need to explain. - I'm just...
Okay?
- [pensive music playing] - [Adam] Okay.
Thanks.
[train compartment clattering]
[rain pattering]
[doorbell ringing]
Sweetheart, you came back.
Of course I came back.
Jesus, you're sodden.
Come on, take it all off.
No, I'm, I'm not taking my clothes off.
Don't be silly, it's only me. Come on, arms up.
I'll put them in the dryer.
It's just me today. Is that all right?
- Yeah, of course it is. - Good.
There's so much I want to know.
I want to hear everything.
Right, go on. Upstairs, get changed.
My goodness. This is so exciting.
[chuckles]
[snickers]
[footsteps approaching]
[knocking on door]
[both chuckling]
[Mum] Suppose nothing's gonna fit you anymore, is it?
- Nope. - [Mum chuckles]
Yeah. Well, I brought you some of your dad's things instead.
- Okay. - [clicks tongue] Oh, look.
Come on, take these off as well,
and I'll put them in to dry with the rest.
- Uh... - [Mum sighs]
Oh, will you take them off, Adam?
Honestly.
[chuckles]
God, look at you.
What?
You were just a boy.
And now you're not.
No.
You look totally different, but it's still you.
Well, I thought you'd be hairier.
- Like your dad. - [chuckles]
Okay, sorry.
[Mum chuckles]
I like a hairy chest, myself.
[Adam chuckles] Okay.
Christ, you know who you remind me of?
Uh, who?
You look just like my dad.
Really?
[Mum] Hmm.
How I remember him anyway, when I was a little girl.
God, isn't that mad?
It's like seeing you both at exactly the same time.
[timer dings]
[gasps] Oh.
I've made your favorite. Well, I hope it's still your favorite.
I'll just go and pop the kettle on,
and then you can tell me everything.
[pensive music playing]
Delicious.
[Mum] Good.
Now, your dad told me not to ask,
and I don't see a wedding ring,
so I'm presuming you're not married,
but have you got a girlfriend?
Hmm?
I'm picturing her with brown hair,
not too skinny.
Smart, obviously.
Well?
Well, what?
[Mum] Do you?
I don't have a girlfriend. No.
That's a shame.
I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not into girls,
[clears throat] into women.
What do you mean?
I mean...
I'm gay. [chuckles]
As in homosexual?
As in that, yeah.
- Really? - Yeah.
Since when?
Uh, since a long time.
How long?
Forever.
You don't look gay.
Well, I'm not sure what that means.
It means what it means. You know what it means.
[Adam chuckles]
Well, bet you're glad
you don't know the neighbors now.
Hmm. I must admit I'm a bit surprised.
Not really sure what I feel about it.
What, you didn't, didn't think it would be a possibility?
No, of course not.
What parent wants to think that about their child?
No parent that I know.
Well, I'm very okay with it, so.
But aren't people nasty to you?
Um, no, no.
No, things are different now.
What, so they aren't nasty?
Not out loud, anyway.
Well, does everybody know?
I mean, are you open about it? I mean...
I don't know, down the High Street at WHSmith's?
Well, it depends on the, on the street.
Yeah. Everybody knows, everyone's fine.
Well, don't you want to get married and have kids?
I can have kids.
Men can marry. Women, too.
What, to each other?
- Yeah. - Why?
What do you mean "why"?
Well, isn't that like having your cake and eating it?
So, do you want to get married and have kids?
I don't know. It wasn't a possibility
for such a long time.
So, I didn't think it was worth the effort
of wanting to get married and have kids.
[chuckles]
[Mum] Huh.
Oh. [mumbles]
[water running]
- You okay? - Hmm, I'm fine.
Sure?
[exhales] I suppose I never did know what was going on
in that odd little head of yours.
You were always running away. Do you remember?
Yeah.
[Mum] There was that time
that you got as far as the train station,
but then you'd lost your money
and so you couldn't buy a ticket.
Do you remember that?
[Adam] Yes, it was Granny's five-pound note.
Yeah, that was it.
Where were you hoping to go?
Don't know.
London, I guess.
[Mum] London?
God.
Oh, there was that time that you got as far as
the bottom of the garden, but then you cut your thumb
on an old milk bottle and you came running back up
all sheepish with blood all over your shirt,
and you were banging and banging
- on that window to be let in. - Yeah.
There it is.
Just.
[Adam sniffles] Hmm.
They say it's a very lonely kind of life.
[tense music playing]
They don't actually say that anymore.
[Mum] So, you're not lonely?
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
Not really.
Not really.
Oh, God. And what about this awful, ghastly disease?
I've seen the adverts on the, on the news, and the,
and with the gravestone.
Should I be worried about that?
No. Jesus.
Everything's different now.
Everything's different.
Well, I guess I wouldn't know about that.
Your clothes will be dry now.
You should take these flapjacks with you,
if you want. I won't be eating them.
[train whooshing]
[pensive music playing]
[Adam grunts]
[shoes thudding on floor]
[elevator dings]
[pensive music playing]
What's wrong?
[elevator dings]
I'm okay.
I just got a bit of a chill.
Hey, you're hot.
Yeah.
I was just, I was just...
I just got caught in the rain.
Okay.
Well, why don't I run you a hot bath?
My nan says there's literally nothing
a hot bath couldn't solve.
I don't really like baths.
Fuck off. Who doesn't like baths?
[water running]
You don't need to be shy around me.
Yes, that's easier said than done.
[Harry chuckles]
Would you like me to close my eyes?
- Yes, please. - Okay. [chuckles]
Better?
- Yeah. - [Harry] Hmm.
[Harry] Been thinking about you all week, today.
[Adam] Hmm.
[Harry] Was thinking about
watching crappy TV with you on a Friday night.
[Harry] Eating takeaway on your sofa.
Watching all the episodes of Top of the Pops
from before I was born.
[both chuckling]
[Harry] Yeah. I thought about something else, too.
Thought about fucking you.
- Yeah? - [Harry] Yeah.
Or you fuck me. I don't really care which.
Are you into that?
Yeah.
It's okay if you're not. We all don't need to be into fucking.
Well, I wasn't for the longest time,
for obvious reasons.
[Harry] Obvious reasons?
I thought that if I fucked anybody, I'd die.
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine, isn't it?
[Harry] A little.
[Harry moaning]
[moaning]
[Adam] Yeah. Come on.
[gentle music playing]
You said the other day you don't see your dad much.
Yeah.
What about your mum?
Yeah, same.
How come?
They know you're queer?
Yeah, course.
- [Adam] Are they okay with it? - Yeah.
They're okay.
I mean, they're really old school.
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
Yeah. But they got used to it, sort of, it's just,
they don't say too much.
You could say that I have
drifted to the edge.
Or right up to the edge, almost.
Over the edge.
What's that mean?
I'm edge of the family.
My sister and her kids,
and my older brother, who just got married,
they've all, they got this spot in the center.
But it's okay.
[Adam] Why is it okay?
Because,
I don't go home much.
Does that make you sad?
Um. No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
Why?
[chuckling]
Um... [inhales]
I've always felt like a stranger in my own family.
And then
coming out just puts a name
to that difference that's always been there.
So, in the end,
it's not really anyone's fault.
Hmm. What's wrong?
It's funny.
Things are better now. Course they are,
but doesn't take much to make you feel the way you felt,
back there again, skin all raw.
Am I still hot?
[Harry] Just a little.
You wanna stay the night?
[Harry chuckles]
[trees rustling]
[inaudible conversation]
[doorbell ringing]
[Dad] Sure she won't be long.
It's okay.
Just wanted to talk to her.
Yeah, I know you do.
This was your granddad's favorite.
I never really liked it much at the time,
but it's grown on me.
If you wanna see your mum really lose her shit,
go ahead and break that bloody thing.
["l Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" playing]
Come on, then, lad. Sit yourself down.
♪ I don't want
♪ To set the world on fire ♪
♪ I just want to start... I
Well, she told you, then?
Was scared you wouldn't come back.
But you know what your mum's like.
You know, don't be, don't be too disappointed in her.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, she just needs to rearrange some things in her head,
and all the stories that she's built up.
Yeah. She'll soon realize it's not actually about her.
What about you?
What about me?
What do you think?
Well, I mean, it was hardly a shock.
I always knew you were a bit tutti-frutti.
Couldn't throw a ball for shit,
no matter how many times I tried to teach you.
- Jesus. - Couldn't for shit.
Couldn't do it.
You make me sound like a horrible cliché.
Well, can you throw a ball?
- Not at all. - Well, there you go.
[Adam chuckles]
[Dad chuckles]
♪ To set the world on fire... ♪
Would you have liked me to have known?
I don't know.
I would hear you crying in your room after school.
Did the boys bully you, then?
Not just the boys.
What would they do?
Oh, call me a girl,
ignore me, refuse to play with me,
stick my head down the toilet,
flick drawing pins in my face.
Christ's sake.
Yeah. Well, you know,
kids are little cunts, aren't they?
[clears throat]
♪ And that one desire is you ♪
♪ And I know... ♪
So, why didn't you come into my room
if you heard me crying?
Why didn't you tell me what was happening at school?
You know, you answer me first.
Be honest.
I just didn't want to think of you as the kind of boy
that the other lads would pick on.
And I knew that if I was at your school,
I'd probably have picked on you, too.
Yeah, I think I always probably thought that, anyway.
Probably why I didn't tell you
what was happening to me at school.
♪ Set the world on... ♪
Well...
♪ Fire ♪
[Dad exhales]
♪ I just want to start ♪
♪ Aflame... I
- [music stops] - You know, when she told me,
it did make me think about all the jokes that we make,
and, you know, we did impressions
of your English teacher,
when he'd mince around with his limp wrist.
[chuckles]
You told me not to cross my legs,
like a woman, over, and over, and over again.
Did 1?
[Adam] Yeah, I still...
Still think about it every time I cross my legs.
I have good memories, too.
[Dad] Yeah, I hope so. Fuck.
I hope so. I hope you did. [chuckles]
Remember you used to love decorating the tree.
[Dad chuckles]
That's...
[Adam] You were crazy for it, every year.
And you'd always let me, um,
put the fairy on top of the tree.
The fairy. I did.
[clock ticking]
[Dad sobs]
I'm sorry I never came in your room when you were crying.
No, really, it's okay.
[Dad] No, it's not okay, though, really, is it?
- It's not. - Dad. Dad, I get it.
It was, it was so long...
[sobbing]
[voice breaks] It was so long ago. Stop!
[sobs]
Can I hug you now?
Yeah, please.
[sniffles]
[sniffling]
[Dad] You're all right, son.
You're all right.
[pensive music playing]
[Harry chuckles]
[Adam] After this,
I wanna go out.
You,
- and me... - [Harry moaning]
- [Adam] ...together... - [Harry chuckling]
[Adam] ...into the world.
["l Want a Dog" by Pet Shop Boys playing over speakers]
[indistinct chattering]
♪ My dog will bark at any passersby ♪
♪ Oh, you can get lonely ♪
♪ I want a dog... ♪
- What do you want to drink? - Uh... A pint.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Whoops, sorry.
Sorry.
Ah, fuck. I've missed this feeling.
I can't hear ya.
Do you dance?
If I'm wasted enough.
Then let's get wasted enough.
[dance music playing]
C'mon.
[Harry] Yeah.
[Adam] Where'd you get this?
[Harry] Found it in my wallet.
Fuck knows how long it's been there.
[sniffs]
[sniffs]
I think that's ketamine.
- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
Have you done it before?
No.
- Will you look after me? - I'll do my best.
- Okay. That'll have to do. - Okay.
["Death of a Party" by Blur playing over speakers]
♪ The death of the party ♪
♪ Came as no surprise ♪
♪ Why did we bother I
♪ Should have stayed away ♪
♪ Another night ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ Gently on the shelf ♪
[inaudible conversation]
♪ Another night ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ Gently on the shelf ♪
♪ Another party ♪
♪ And I thought well well ♪
♪ Go to another party ♪
♪ And hang myself ♪
♪ The death of the party ♪
♪ Came as no surprise ♪
- [music goes off tune] - [tempo drops]
[screaming]
[music fades out]
[man on TV speaking indistinctly]
[man on TV] ...for the next 30 minutes,
some surely good tunes coming your way.
Like down here, we have
at number four, The Pet Shop Boys
and You Were Always on My Mind.
["Always on My Mind" by Pet Shop Boys playing on TV]
[fire crackling]
- [Dad grunts] - [Mum] Adam.
What's wrong?
Oh, you're really hot.
No, he's really hot.
What?
Now, here you go.
Come on.
Squeeze in, squeeze in, squeeze in.
♪ Little things I should have said and done ♪
♪ I never took the time ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
[singing] ♪ Maybe I didn't hold you ♪
♪ All those lonely, lonely times ♪
♪ And I guess I never told you ♪
♪ I'm so happy that you're mine ♪
♪ If I made you feel second best ♪
♪ I'm so sorry I was blind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
[both singing] ♪ Tellme ♪
♪ Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died ♪
♪ Give me ♪
♪ One more chance to keep you satisfied ♪
♪ Satisfied ♪
[Dad vocalizing]
Okay, get together.
Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready? I'm gonna press it.
Okay, it's going.
All right, we have to be quick ‘cause it goes off in a sec.
It's about ten seconds.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
- Here we go! - Merry Christmas. [chuckles]
- Merry Christmas! - Go...
♪ You were always on my mind ♪
♪ Tellme ♪
[music slows down, goes off tune]
Is this real?
[Mum] Does it feel real?
Yeah.
There you go, then.
[Adam] For how long, though?
I can't answer that.
I suppose we don't get to decide when it's over.
[Adam] You're not going out now, are you?
[Mum echoes] Where would we go?
The Walshes'.
[Mum] The Walshes'?
The Walshes'.
[Adam] No, no. Wait.
Promise me you're not gonna go out now.
[Mum] I promise.
We're just gonna be asleep next door.
Promise. [echoes]
All right?
Get some sleep.
[door closes]
[sighs]
[Adam] No.
[knocking on door]
[Mum] What is it, sweetheart?
I can't sleep.
Well, do you wanna get in?
- Can 1? - Course you can.
[Dad grunts]
Still smells the same in here.
You'd creep in here night after night,
saying you couldn't sleep.
You're always scared of something.
Murderers breaking in, or rabies,
or nuclear war.
Do people still get rabies?
- No. - Oh!
I was desperate for you to grow up
just so I could get a good night's sleep.
[clock ticking]
Sorry.
What are you sorry for?
I'm the sorry one.
I should've relished you driving me bananas.
Where did you go?
You know, afterwards.
I lived with Granny.
She took me to Dublin.
Yeah, I thought so.
Why didn't you live with his lot?
Why didn't you live with Granny May?
They said she was too heartbroken.
About what?
Well, she'd lost her son.
Oh, I see. But my mother was fine
about losing her only daughter?
No, no.
She was not fine.
I just can't believe that she
got to look after you and I didn't.
Are any of them still around now?
No.
Guess they wouldn't be, would they?
And how did you get on over there with Mum?
Did you manage to fit in better at school?
I made sure I did.
I hate that we weren't around
when you needed us most, sweetheart.
And I hate even more
that I wasn't there before that, not really.
No, that's not true.
Come on. Well, I was hardly Mother of the Year, was I?
But I like to think that
I would've got better at it in time.
You know, given time.
You know, when I was a teenager,
or even later, into my twenties,
I used to plot it all out.
What do you mean?
What we might've done together
in intricate detail. Trips to the Whitgift Centre,
birthdays,
trips to London,
the Planetarium, the London Dungeon.
Oh, I always wanted to go there.
[chuckles]
- I know. - [chuckles]
There were holidays
that we might've gone on together.
Did we make it to Disneyland?
We did.
When I was 14.
- It rained nonstop. - Oh!
And they shut down Space Mountain.
And we fought every day.
Why did we have to fight?
Because that's what everyone did with their parents.
They fought and bickered
and pretended that they
were ruining each other's lives.
Did we make up?
No, we didn't need to make up.
We were together,
SO,
so it didn't matter.
You okay?
- [sobs] no. - [Dad] You're okay, son.
You're okay.
What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.
[vehicle approaching]
[gravel crunching]
[car door opens]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[door closes]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[knocking at door]
[phone ringing]
[gasps]
[eerie music playing]
[indistinct announcement on PA]
[eerie music playing]
[coughing]
[brakes squealing]
[screaming]
[Adam] Mum? Mum?
- [yells] - [Harry shushing]
[Adam breathing heavily]
You're okay.
You're okay.
[Adam sobbing]
- What day... What day is it? - Sunday.
Why is it...
How come... How... Why is it still Sunday?
[Harry] You kept screaming out for your parents
over and over again in the club.
And then
I didn't know what to do, so I just
took you back here and lay with you till you fell asleep.
[Adam breathing heavily]
[Harry] You looked so scared.
I am.
[Harry] Hey, come here. Come here.
Hey, come here.
- [shushing] - [Adam groaning]
I'm here. It's okay.
[Adam crying]
[Adam continues crying]
You're okay.
[Adam] I was sleeping in their bed
the night they went out.
I was meant to go with them.
To Christmas drinks at the Walshes'.
Around midnight, um,
two police came to the door. A man and a woman.
He had really beautiful, kind eyes
and this thick, dark stubble.
Looked like it had been drawn on.
The car skidded on black ice. [sighs]
Both of them had been drinking.
Dad was killed right away, but they took Mum to, uh,
Saint Mary's in Croydon, and she died a few days later.
Did you get to see her?
What do you mean? To say goodbye?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
No.
My granny thought it would be too scarring.
[Adam sniffles]
Mum went through the windscreen
and she lost an eye,
so she was pretty fucked up.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I went looking for that eye.
I don't know why. Didn't want anyone else to find it.
Thought it would be on the side of the road.
[chuckling]
staring up at me. "Hi." [chuckles]
I did find a tiny piece
of the windscreen glass, though.
In my head, it had blood on it,
but maybe that's not true.
The nurse said that Mum woke up
just before she died.
She must've been so confused. Can't hardly see and...
Dad wasn't there, I wasn't there.
I can't even begin to imagine how you felt.
How lonely you must've been.
Yeah, but, like, I'd always felt lonely,
even before.
This was a new feeling.
Like...
a terror,
that I'd always be alone now.
And then, as I got older, that feeling just,
just solidified.
Just a...
Just a knot here all the time.
And then losing them,
it just got tangled up with all the other stuff,
about being gay,
and just feeling like...
the future doesn't matter.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
I know how easy it can be to stop caring about yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Adam.
Will you come with me?
[chuckles]
Where to?
Just let me show you.
[doorbell ringing]
Whose house is this?
My parents'.
Yeah. Who lives here now?
It's okay. Don't worry.
Hello?
Adam.
[knocking on door]
[Adam] Hello?
- Where are they? - [Harry] Who?
[Adam] Hello?
[Harry] Who?
[Adam] My parents.
This is our house. This is our kitchen.
This is our wallpaper. That's our table where we had
fish and chips every Friday night
so my mother could pretend
we were still Catholic.
Adam, I want to go home. Let me take you home.
- This is my home. - No, it used to be.
- It's not anymore. Adam! - Mum?
- Dad? - Adam, listen.
Let me take you home.
You go home!
You go home. I'm not going.
[Adam] Where are they?
Where are they?
[banging on door]
Mum?
- Adam, stop it. - Dad?
[eerie music playing]
[Adam] Can you see them?
Let me in.
Please.
Please let me in.
Please let me in.
[glass shattering]
[Dad whispering] He has to stop now.
He has to get on with his life.
He can't keep coming here.
We're not allowing him to get on with his life.
[Mum whispering] I think we are helping him.
[Dad] No, we're not. It's not normal.
- It's not... - Why didn't you let us in?
Where is he? Is he here? Is Harry here?
[Mum] No.
We did see him, though.
But I wanted you to meet him.
I know, but I don't think this works like that.
Looked like a handsome fellow, though.
Is he your special friend?
Do you mean my boyfriend?
Is he my boyfriend? You can say it.
Okay. Well, is he your boyfriend?
Um... Uh, I don't know.
Are you in love with him?
[Adam chuckles]
Why is that so strange?
I don't know, I've never been in love before, so...
Not really.
So, this...
I don't know if this is it.
[Mum] Sweetheart.
Well,
he certainly seems to care about you a whole heap,
in my not so humble opinion.
Do you think you'd like to be in love with him?
Yeah?
[soft music playing]
- Son, I think we... - No.
Don't say it.
- Please don't say it. - No, we have to.
We have to.
Um...
Me and your mum,
we think that it's best you don't come visit us anymore.
All right.
You're just gonna keep coming and coming, I know you are.
And we can see what this is doing to you.
It's not doing anything to me.
Yes, itis.
It won't let you move on.
Okay, well, I'll come less.
I'll come once a year. I'll come at Christmas.
Come on, lad, we...
You have to have known that this wasn't gonna last forever.
I'm not asking for it to last forever.
I'm just...
It hasn't been long enough.
Hasn't been close to long enough.
I know, but it never could be, could it?
Hey, listen.
I've got an idea.
How's about...
How's about we go to your favorite place
in the whole bloody world, huh?
I'm sure it's still open.
It's the next best thing to Disneyland.
It's fucking cheaper too.
[Adam laughing]
[Adam sighs]
What do you think?
[engine whirring]
["If I Could See the World (Through the Eyes of a Child)" playing]
♪ If I could see the world ♪
♪ Through the eyes of a child I
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
♪ This would be ♪
♪ There'd be no trouble...
[Adam] Uh, can I get the "family special," please?
[server] That's a lot of food.
That's okay.
Not really very hungry.
- No, me neither. - No.
Hey, I wanna ask you something.
- God, no, don't ask. - No, no, I'm gonna ask him.
- Was it quick? - Oh, Jesus.
- I told you not to ask. - You're the... You wanna know.
Yeah, but what if it was slow and horribly painful?
- Yeah, but what difference does it make? - Ilt makes a big difference.
[Adam] It was quick.
- Was it? - [Adam] Yeah.
For both of us?
Mmm-hmm.
[Mum] No, you don't seem sure.
Don't be fibbing now.
It was quick.
It was really quick.
Well, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but that's a relief, isn't it? Of sorts.
It's been playing on my mind, that has.
What do you think we should say
to each other? [chuckles]
Not sure I have much wisdom to share.
I don't know, maybe, Adam being older,
should be sharing some with us.
Maybe we shouldn't say anything.
Maybe.
Although, I will say that getting
to know you has made us very proud, son.
I haven't done anything to be proud of.
- I've just muddled through. - No, but you got through.
Some tough times, I'm sure,
and you're still here.
That's what we're proud of.
Yeah.
Dad?
[Dad] Hmm?
Stay. Stay. Stay a bit longer.
[Dad] No, I don't think so, son.
[Mum] Love you, darling.
You do?
Sometimes, I wasn't so sure.
Whatever problems we had,
I'm glad we got to be together at the end.
Me too.
Now, I...
I know I was never good at saying it.
I just couldn't get the words out.
I do love you very much.
Somehow, even more, now that I know you.
It's important that you believe me.
I do.
[voice breaks] And I love you very much.
Dad?
[patting on hand]
Dad, did... Dad, did you hear that?
[Mum sobs] Oh, Adam, are you there?
I can't see you. Why can't I see you?
I'm here, Mum.
[Mum] Oh, there you are.
I can feel you.
Skin's lovely and warm.
Now, you listen.
You promise me
that you're gonna try with this Harry boy.
Yeah.
I'd have liked him. I know it.
He might need a bit of taking care of, mind you.
He's got such a sad face.
- Do you hear me? - Yeah.
Yeah, I hear you.
That's good.
I hope you make each other a bit happier.
Such a kind and gentle boy.
- [server] Enjoy. - Thank you.
[Adam exhales]
[somber music playing]
[beeps]
[music fades out]
[TV static buzzing]
[buzzing stops]
[dripping]
Harry?
[ominous music playing]
[coughing]
[door rattles, opens]
What are you doing down here?
I came to find you.
Why are you here?
l... I said goodbye to them, so I came to see you.
[Harry exhales]
[Harry groans]
- It's okay. - [Harry] It's not okay, though, is it?
I was so scared that night. I just needed to not be alone.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I was too scared
to let you in.
I'm in there, aren't I?
- Let's just go upstairs. - No, no, no.
I just need you to tell me, okay?
Because I can smell it. I can...
taste it in my throat.
[exhales]
How come no one found me?
Where was my mum and my dad?
- I found you... - [voice breaks] I know,
but I... Adam, I don't want you
to see me like that in there. It's...
You're not in there. You're not in there.
You're not in there.
You're here.
You're here.
You're here.
With me.
Let's just go upstairs.
[Harry chuckles]
I saw her, you know.
Your mum.
Your dad, too, at the house.
They saw you, too.
They did?
Mmm-hmm.
My dad says you're a handsome fellow.
[Harry chuckling]
Hmm.
[Adam] They'd have loved you.
They both would.
That's good.
Did you get to say what you wanted to say?
I don't know, but I got to be with them.
[Harry] It's good that you were all together.
Yeah.
I'm scared.
I know.
But I'm here with you.
[Harry] Don't let this get tangled up again.
Okay, come on.
Okay.
[grunting]
[exhales]
It's so quiet.
Never could stand how quiet this place was.
Will you put a record on?
- What would you like? - You choose.
["The Power of Love" playing]
"I'll protect you from the hooded claw."
"Keep the vampires from your door."
♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ Feels like fire ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Dreams are like angels ♪
♪ They keep bad at bay, bad at bay ♪
♪ Love is the light ♪
♪ Scaring darkness away, yeah ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ I'll protect you from the hooded claw ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door ♪
♪ When the chips are down I'll be around ♪
♪ With my undying, death-defying love for you ♪
♪ Envy will hurt itself ♪
♪ Let yourself be beautiful ♪
♪ Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls I
♪ Love is like an energy ♪
♪ Rushin' an' rushin' inside of me, eh ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ This time we go sublime ♪
♪ Lovers entwine, divine, divine ♪
♪ Love is danger, love is pleasure
♪ Love is pure, the only treasure ♪
♪ I'm so in love with you Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ Cleaning my soul ♪
♪ The power of love ♪
♪ A force from above ♪
♪ A sky-scraping dove ♪
♪ Flame on, burn desire ♪
♪ Love with tongues of fire ♪
♪ Purge the soul ♪
♪ Make love your goal ♪
♪ I'll protect you from the hooded claw ♪
♪ Keep the vampires from your door ♪
Descriptive Audio and Transcript
Below is the complete audio description with transcript for “All of Us Strangers (2023)”. Audio descriptions provide narration of visual elements, actions, and scene details to make films accessible to people who are blind or have low vision.
Audio description benefits more than just visually impaired users. It can help people who are multitasking, those in environments where they can’t watch the screen closely, or anyone who wants a richer understanding of visual storytelling elements.
All Of Us Strangers Descriptive Audio
Searchlights sweep an evening sky, piercing clouds, and
illuminating a towering edifice in the form of
searchlight pictures, with the lights of Hollywood, palm
trees, and the hills beyond.
Wispy clouds hang in a twilight sky that
silhouettes city buildings lining the horizon.
A glint of sunlight reflects off one of
the buildings and grows in intensity.
Slowly, the faint image of a man fades
up over the cityscape.
Shirtless, he stares with a haunted expression in
the reddish glow of early morning.
The light reflecting off the building in the
distance shines like a starburst.
The picture fades and a title appears, All
of Us Strangers.
Now the man sits at a small desk
in front of a window.
The dark-haired, middle-aged man wears a
cardigan over a blue t-shirt.
He leans forward in his chair and rests
his hands on a laptop's keyboard.
Shoulders hunched and head bowed, he sits motionless.
He lifts his chin and gazes off with
a thoughtful squint.
Blinking, he returns his gaze to the laptop,
then leans back in his chair.
Later, he lounges on a sofa by a
sunlit window.
He munches on a snack.
Meanwhile, work goes on for the Brits who've
relocated to the Costa.
Running a bar in the sun is the
classic British dream.
It can easily turn into a nightmare, but
Gary and Cherry from Macclesfield have made it
work.
The bamboo bar is a success.
Later, the man sleeps while the window beside
the sofa frames city lights under the dusky
sky.
The man wakes, groggily props himself up on
one elbow, and looks outside.
With a yawn, he sits all the way
up and gazes out the window.
Now he opens a fridge and lifts a
foil takeaway container.
Using the lid, he moves noodles around, inspecting
them.
He tilts his head back and gives an
annoyed glance toward the ceiling.
Replacing the lid on the container, he puts
it back in the fridge.
Now he trudges down an empty hallway.
He presses a lift call
button.
Moments later, he steps through his apartment building's
automatic door and into a courtyard.
He pauses momentarily to look back up at
the building, then continues walking.
As he glances back at the building again,
he notices something.
He stops and turns completely, staring up at
the apartment tower.
All the windows sit dark and empty save
for one about five stories up.
In the bluish glow of the light behind
him, a person stands at the window, looking
down at the dark-haired man.
As the person steps away from the window,
the man continues to stare up at it.
As he slowly heads back toward the building,
the view rises past floors of dark windows
to the only other lit window near the
top floor.
Inside, the takeaway container sits empty as the
man sits before a musical performance on his
TV.
He turns his gaze toward the door.
He pauses the TV, which shows a caption
that reads, Frankie goes to Hollywood, the power
of love.
He opens his door to a man with
shaggy hair and a moustache.
Hello.
Hello.
I saw you looking at me from the
street.
I've seen you a bunch of times coming
and going with your head down.
One day it'll be for real, that alarm.
He shifts on his feet and glances down
the hall.
We're basically the only ones here.
Can you fucking believe that?
I mean, I haven't got security guards yet.
I'm Harry.
The moustached man offers his hand.
Adam.
As Adam shakes it, Harry's gentle grip lingers
on Adam's fingers.
How do you cope?
Adam's lips part and he shakes his head.
With what?
With his head.
Adam stares at Harry, then lowers his gaze
and twists his lips.
It's so quiet.
I mean, no one's out there, but we
can't hear a fucking thing.
Harry leans his head against the doorjamb.
I play music, right, but it's worse when
it ends.
I even got one of those white noise
machines, right, but it's like there's someone in
the corner of the room whispering about me.
I mean, we can't even open the windows,
but I guess they don't really want us
to jump.
It's bad for business, you know.
Body's broken on the concrete.
I mean, who's going to move in then?
Drink?
It's Japanese.
It's meant to be the best in the
world, but I couldn't tell you why.
He holds an almost empty liquor bottle.
No, thanks.
Okay, um...
Okay, how about I come in anyway?
If not for a drink, then...
for whatever else you might want.
Adam tilts his head and regards Harry with
a bashful smile.
Um...
I think that's a good idea.
Do I scare you?
No.
We don't have to do anything if I'm
not your type.
There's vampires at my door.
Adam lingers by the door, keeping his palm
pressed against it.
On the other side, Harry keeps his head
tilted back against the wall and shuts his
eyes.
Adam sits back down on his sofa.
He glances over at his closed door, then
picks up some items from the coffee table.
He glances at the door again, lowers his
gaze, and sets the items back down.
In a lift, the mirrored walls reflect Harry's
image infinitely, as he swigs from his liquor
bottle.
He leans against the wall beside the digital
floor indicator, which displays an arrow pointing downward,
then the number six.
Gazing upward, Harry blinks slowly.
Now Adam sleeps in his apartment, framed by
the open bedroom door.
Morning.
Two tower-block apartments stand side by side,
with more city buildings stretching toward the horizon.
Words type out on a document on Adam's
laptop.
Exterior, Suburban House, 1987.
The cursor blinks at the end of the
line.
Seated at his desk, Adam stares straight ahead,
then turns to look toward his bedroom.
He gets up.
Moments later, he pulls a plastic storage container
from under his bed and tosses it on
top of the mattress.
Later, he goes through the contents of the
container.
He closes a blank cassette case and sets
it among the various items before him.
He gently picks up a small angel tree
topper made from burlap.
He tosses the decoration aside and picks up
a silver lighter.
He tries igniting it, but the flame doesn't
light.
He turns the flat square device in his
fingers, then puts it down.
Hanging his head, he picks up an old
envelope from a photo developer and flips through
the pictures inside.
The first few feature a boy about ten
years old, smiling on a swing.
Adam puts the pack of photos down and
picks up a small album.
Turning the page, he finds a photo of
a suburban two-story house with a tan
sedan, parked in the driveway.
Adam stares at the photo.
Working his jaw, he gazes off and sets
the photo album down.
He turns his distant gaze toward the window,
where a train curves along a track below.
Now a train travels over a river past
a skyline of modern buildings.
Adam sits aboard, staring out his window.
Another train speeds past in the opposite direction.
Shadow briefly fills the car as the train
speeds past trees that blot out the sun.
Adam watches the treetops blur past, then shuts
his eyes.
His head rocks gently against his seat with
the movement of the train.
Later, the departing train's windows reflect a backwards
word on a station sign, Sanders Stead.
Adam stands at the station, his eyes darting
thoughtfully.
He heads away on foot.
In a suburban neighbourhood, Adam walks down a
pavement past two-story homes.
He slows at the end of a driveway
that slopes slightly downward toward a garage.
Adam holds the picture of the suburban home
up and compares it to the house in
front of him.
The roofline and white stucco match the photo
perfectly.
Adam continues walking past, tucking the photo into
an inside jacket pocket.
As he passes alongside a shoulder-high hedge,
his gaze stays focused on the house.
He slows to a stop in front of
a bay window, where a boy stands staring
out at him.
Adam stares back for a moment, then keeps
walking.
At a park, Adam sits at a table
near a playground, gazing at some of the
old photographs.
He glances up toward the children playing nearby.
Twisting his lips, he pockets the photos and
munches on some fries from a paper cone.
As he chews, he looks down at his
hands, then around at the passing park-goers
and playing children.
Later, hands in the pockets of his jeans,
Adam walks across a field of dry, knee
-high grass.
He approaches a strand of trees at the
edge of the field as a breeze blows
through their branches.
Adam walks through the trees and comes out
into another field of even taller grass.
He slows to a stop, his gaze distant
under a furrowed brow.
Under a cloudy sky, more trees make a
thick wall of foliage at the far end
of the field.
Between the trees and the field, a few
homes' rooftops peek above the long blades of
dry grass.
Slowly, the light in the sky dims.
Adam stands with his eyes closed and his
jaw tight.
He blinks his eyes open.
He turns his head, then turns his whole
body around to look at the strand of
trees he had walked through.
A man, standing at the edge of the
field, turns and walks back through the trees.
Adam's eyes widen.
He stares after the man, then follows him
through the trees.
As Adam emerges from the trees into the
park, the mysterious man walks about a hundred
feet ahead.
He stops and looks back at Adam, then
keeps walking.
Adam stops at the edge of the trees
and tilts his head as he watches him.
He hesitantly continues to follow.
Now Adam walks toward a main street, where
a hair salon sits beside a little market
called Sanderstead Village Store.
Glancing over his shoulder, he crosses the street
toward the market.
As he approaches the glass storefront, he sees
the mysterious man inside.
Adam turns his attention back toward the street.
The mysterious man exits the store and stops
before Adam.
In his early thirties, he wears his hair
and moustache neatly trimmed and sports a brown
leather jacket.
Adam smiles cordially.
The man lifts a bottle wrapped in a
plastic shopping bag.
He opens a fresh pack of cigarettes and
offers one to Adam.
Adam shakes his head.
The man puts a cigarette between his lips.
He lights his smoke and takes a drag
as he eyes Adam.
Letting out a puff of smoke, he smirks
and walks off.
Adam watches him with a quizzical gaze, then
follows him.
Later, they wait outside the front door of
Adam's childhood home.
She's going to be over the moon to
see you.
A woman opens the door.
Guess who I found later in the park?
Is it him?
Yeah, it's definitely him.
Look in his eyes.
As he goes inside, the woman peers at
Adam.
Yes, it is you.
Adam stares back at the young, dark-haired
woman.
Hi.
Hi.
Don't just stand there.
Get yourself inside.
Later, the three of them sit at a
dining table.
So where are you living now?
Not around here, I'm sure.
I'm in London.
Oh, how fancy.
Whereabouts?
Do you live by yourself?
Do you own your own place?
Yeah, it's just a flat.
What did I tell you?
What did I tell you?
I told you we'd do well for himself,
didn't I?
Can't be cheap, living up there in the
smoke.
And what is it that you do?
I'm a writer.
And what did I tell you?
No, no, no.
I'm not particularly rich or anything.
Sorry.
No, I always knew you'd be creative.
She cuffs Adam's face in her hands and
kisses his cheek.
What kind of writer are you?
You know how I love Stephen King, Carrie,
Cujo, different seasons.
No, no, no, I'm not a proper writer.
I write scripts for film, TV, when I
have to.
A writer.
God, this is so bloody exciting.
If I knew the neighbours, I'd run over
and I'd tell them right now.
I've always said that writers know less about
the real world than almost anyone else.
What the hell would you know?
You're barely right joined up.
It's true.
They both smile proudly at Adam.
A writer.
Our son.
Adam's dad puts his hand on Adam's.
We're very bloody pleased to see you doing
so well, then.
Here.
Look at that puffy shit.
Our boy's back home.
They hold up their drinks for a toast.
Later...
What are you putting on?
Adam's dad puts on a record.
Oh, you'll see.
Oh, do you remember your little red car
that you had?
You loved it and you wanted to take
it out onto the main road and drive
it with all the big cars.
It's my first memory, actually.
It was a Ford Granada that hit him,
wasn't it?
No, it was.
It was racing green.
Do you remember that?
It flung you like a rag doll.
You went so high up in the air,
I'll never forget it.
Oh, but you were fine, though.
You were fine.
You had a couple of bruises.
I think they thought I was exaggerating when
I took you in.
What about that one bonfire night when you
lost it?
Remember that?
Bonfire night?
How old were you?
Six?
No, he was not.
He was older than that.
The fireworks went off.
The poor boy started screaming and howling.
Had to carry him all the way home.
He did?
Yeah.
He fell asleep on my shoulder.
I don't remember that.
You were really beside yourself.
You were really having a hard time.
We were just trying to get you to
enjoy the fireworks.
You've always been a sensitive boy.
Are you still afraid of fireworks now?
No.
Do you know what he said on that?
He said, just like my mother.
He does.
Doesn't he?
You know that.
He did say something like that.
Yeah, it's when he speaks to me.
Later, Adam watches his parents dance.
Outside the house, his dad gives him a
big hug.
It's so bloody lovely to see you again.
I wasn't sure we ever would.
But here we are.
Here we are.
He gives Adam a quick kiss and steps
aside.
His mother embraces him.
Come back soon, hmm?
One of us will be in.
Smiling with a perplexed expression, Adam nods as
his mother rubs his shoulders.
Please.
His mother looks him in the eyes and
he nods.
Yeah, I will.
Good.
Let's go, then.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Goodnight, son.
Goodnight.
Adam's father puts his arm around his wife
and escorts her back to the house.
Adam turns to go, then glances back at
his parents.
He blinks, lips parted.
He stands at the end of the driveway
by the tan sedan.
Hands in his pockets, Adam slowly walks away.
Later, as Adam rides in the back of
a car, he gazes out the window.
In a sort of daze, he arrives at
his apartment building.
He trudges through the lobby.
As he reaches for a closed glass door,
he sees Harry on the other side, waiting
for a lift.
Adam opens the door.
Harry looks over as Adam joins him in
front of the lifts.
Adam keeps his gaze averted and puts his
hands in his pockets.
Hello.
Hi.
Later, they ride the lift together.
I'm really sorry about the other night.
It's alright.
Don't worry about it.
See ya.
See ya.
Harry steps off.
I actually do like whisky, if you want
to have a drink.
The door slides closed between them.
Adam winces and shakes his head.
As the lift continues up, Adam presses his
lips together and turns away from the door.
He hangs his head and shakes it again.
In his dark bedroom, Adam lies on his
pillows, gazing at the old photographs.
He lowers them to his chest and shuts
his eyes.
A small smile lifts his lips as he
drifts off to sleep.
Morning, Adam wakes.
Blinking groggily, he holds up a hand to
block the light from the window.
He props himself up on one elbow, rubs
his eye, and gulps some water from a
glass on the nightstand.
Sitting all the way up, he blinks some
more, then looks over at the photos now
resting on the nightstand beside the empty glass.
Later, an album sleeve for Now That's What
I Call Music 10 lies beside a record
player.
Nearby, Adam types at his desk.
A small smirk lifts the corner of his
mouth as he works.
Later, Adam paces in front of his floor
-to-ceiling windows, clicking a pen at his
side.
As he glances down toward the street below,
he stops moving and stares.
He puts down his pen and picks up
a pair of binoculars.
Through them, he focusses on Harry standing on
the ground below.
Looking up toward Adam's window, he waves.
Adam lowers the binoculars and gives a goofy
grin.
He lifts his hand to wave back.
Hi.
Later, he opens his apartment door for Harry.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
Do you want to come in?
Sure.
Harry steps inside, and they awkwardly stand facing
each other in the living room.
Do you want a drink?
Yeah.
What have you got?
I've got vodka and some beer with some
weed, I'd be proud.
Yeah, weed's better.
I'm off alcohol.
Harry wanders over to the window as Adam
sits on the sofa and prepares a vape.
Do you like living here?
I think I like it more when people
move in, if people move in.
Have you got friends nearby?
No, not really.
Do you?
No, not really.
Most of my friends have moved out of
London.
They want to have gardens for their kids.
They want to be near their grandparents so
they can look after their kids.
I'm guessing you didn't want to move too?
No.
Harry joins Adam on the sofa.
What am I going to do in Dorky?
It's not for people like me.
As Adam takes a hit from the vape,
Harry looks him over.
I'm just checking you are queer, right?
Yeah.
That's good.
Adam grins bashfully and looks down.
Or gay.
I can't get used to calling myself queer,
I was always such an insult.
That's probably why we hate gay so much
now.
I mean, it was always like, your haircut's
gay, the sofa's gay, your trainers are gay,
your schoolbag's gay.
Yeah.
Queer does feel polite somehow though, you know?
Harry takes a hit from the vape.
I don't know, it's like all the dick
sucking's been taken out.
Yeah.
I'm assuming you're not with anyone?
I never see you with anyone?
No.
You often single?
Am I often single?
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
I suppose so, yeah.
Are you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not for want of trying.
How about I kiss you?
No, wait.
Ooh.
Sorry.
You all right?
No, yeah, yeah.
Just haven't done this.
What?
I haven't done this in a while.
Just remember to breathe.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It's okay.
You're good.
You all right?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Adam caresses his cheek as the kiss intensifies.
Later, Harry stands shirtless in the living room
looking at Adam's old photos.
It's you?
I'm afraid it is.
Man, you were cute.
I hate my photos.
I was a fat kid.
All right, but when you're a fat kid,
no one asks why you don't have a
girlfriend.
We'd have been friends for sure, though.
Bunked off football to spy on the boys.
Adam hangs his head.
Harry picks up another photo.
Is this your dad?
Yeah.
He's handsome.
Yeah.
I'm trying to write about him at the
moment.
Is that what you do?
Yeah.
How's it going?
Uh, strangely.
I don't see my dad much.
Do you see yours?
No, they died just before I was 12.
Both of them?
Yeah.
Yeah, car crash.
Not the most original of deaths.
I'm really sorry.
No, thanks.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
Harry meets his gaze sincerely.
Wow.
Adam looks away with a shrug.
As Adam looks at the photos, Harry straightens
up and faces him.
I'd like to see you again.
Yeah, okay.
I could stay the night if you...
Adam shifts on his feet.
How about actually, better idea, not tonight?
Yeah?
No, no, I would like to see you
again.
You don't need to explain.
Adam gathers up the photos.
Okay.
Thanks.
Now Adam sits on the train watching the
trees blur past his window.
In a rainstorm, he walks with his shoulders
hunched, down an alleyway, between two wooden fences.
He comes to the front door of his
childhood home, and rings the bell.
As his mother opens the inner wooden door,
his reflection in the glass door merges with
her face on the other side.
She opens the door.
Sweetheart, you came back.
Of course I came back.
Jesus, you're sodden.
Come on, take it all off.
No, I'm not taking my clothes off.
Don't be silly.
It's only me.
Come on, arms up.
I'll put them in the dryer.
She helps him take off his sweater.
It's just me today, is that all right?
Yeah, of course it is.
Good.
There's so much I want to know, I
want to hear everything.
Right, go on, upstairs, get changed.
My goodness, this is so exciting.
In his undershirt, Adam looks up the stairs.
As his mum hurries off, he hesitantly heads
up.
Upstairs, he pushes open a bedroom door with
a no trespassing sign on it.
Pausing in the entryway, he takes in the
child's room.
A Frankie Goes to Hollywood poster hangs on
the wall.
Adam steps past it and looks around with
a thoughtful frown.
A boombox sits on a desk beside a
stack of board games.
Adam flips through some albums, including Erasure's The
Circus and Frankie Goes to Hollywood's Welcome to
the Pleasure Dome.
Adam runs his thumb over a cartoonish illustration
of the band members on the cover.
Blinking, he sets them aside.
Adam passes a shelf where an army action
figure sits without trousers.
He flips through a notebook with mostly blank
pages, save for one with his name written
a few times in block letters.
He brings the notebook to his nose for
a sniff.
Later, he stands at an open wardrobe and
takes out a shirt on a hanger.
Reflected in a mirror, his mother peeks in
behind him.
Adam bashfully peels off his wet undershirt.
As he takes off his shoes, his mother
puts a hand to his chest.
She looks him over with wide eyes and
gives her head a little shake.
He smiles at her.
She puts her hand on his cheek as
she gazes at him with a sad smile.
And I thought you'd be hairier, like your
dad.
Okay, sorry.
Like a hairy chest myself.
As she watches him, her brow wrinkles.
Christ, you know who you remind me of?
Uh, who?
You look just like my dad.
Do you?
Hmm.
I remember him anyway when I was a
little girl.
God, isn't that mad?
It's like seeing you both exactly the same
time.
Adam puts on a v-neck sweater and
some pants.
Oh, I've made your favourite.
Well, I hope it's still your favourite.
I'll just go and pop the kettle on
and then you can tell me everything.
As she leaves the room, Adam sits to
put on a sock.
His smile fades and he looks around, blinking.
He licks his lips and swallows hard.
From outside, the window frames him as he
stands and looks straight out.
Later, his mother watches him from the kitchen.
As he takes a bite of food, he
tilts his head back and nods.
Now, your dad told me not to ask.
I don't see a wedding ring, so I'm
presuming you're not married, but have you got
a girlfriend?
Hmm?
I'm picturing her with brown hair, not too
skinny, smart, obviously.
Adam looks down at his plate.
Well?
Well what?
Do you?
I don't have a girlfriend.
Oh.
That's a shame.
He sits down across from her at a
counter.
She pours milk in his teacup and some
in her own.
I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not
into girls, into women.
What do you mean?
I mean...
Adam looks her in the eyes.
I'm gay.
As in homosexual?
As in, uh, that, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Since when?
Uh, since a long time.
How long?
Forever.
You don't look gay.
Well, I'm not sure what that means.
It means what it means, you know what
it means.
She pours tea into their cups, keeping her
eyes averted from him.
Well, I bet you're glad you don't know
the neighbours now.
I must admit, I'm a bit surprised.
I'm not really sure what I feel about
it.
What, you didn't think it would be a
possibility?
No, of course not.
What parent wants to think that about their
child?
No parent that I know.
Well, I'm very okay with it, so.
But aren't people nasty to you?
No, no, things are different now.
Well, so they aren't nasty?
Not out loud, anyway.
But does everybody know?
I mean, are you open about it?
I mean, I don't know, down the high
street at W8 Smith's?
Well, it depends on the street.
Yeah, everybody knows.
Everyone's fine.
Well, don't you want to get married and
have kids?
I can have kids.
Men can marry.
Women, too.
Her jaw drops.
What, to each other?
Yeah.
Why?
What do you mean, why?
Well, isn't that like having your cake and
eating it?
Adam stares at her with a quizzical brow.
So, do you want to get married and
have kids?
I don't know.
It wasn't a possibility for such a long
time, I didn't think it was worth the
effort of wanting to get married and have
kids.
He smiles incredulously as he lifts his tea.
His mother starts to sip her tea, then
grimaces, goes to the sink and dumps it
out.
Adam watches as she stands agitatedly at the
sink.
You okay?
Fine.
Sure?
I suppose I never did know what was
going on in that odd little head of
yours.
You were always running away.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
It was that time that you got as
far as the train station, but then you'd
lost your money and so you couldn't buy
a ticket.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, it was Granny's five pound note.
Yeah, that was it.
Where were you hoping to go?
Adam shakes his head and shrugs his lips.
To hell.
London, I guess.
London.
God.
He rubs his eyes.
Oh, there was that time that you got
as far as the bottom of the garden,
but then you cut your thumb on an
old milk bottle and you came running back
up all sheepish, blood all over your shirt
and you were banging and banging from that
window to be let in.
There it is.
Just.
She rubs his thumb then takes his hand.
They say it's a very lonely kind of
life.
Adam wrinkles his nose and pulls his hand
away.
They don't actually say that anymore.
So you're not lonely.
He looks down, a tear glistening on his
cheek.
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
Not really.
Not really.
They look at one another.
Adam lowers his gaze.
His mother sits back, her brow furrowed.
Oh, God, and what about this awful ghastly
disease?
I've seen the adverts on the news and
with the gravestone.
Should I be worried about that?
No.
Jesus.
Everything is different now.
Adam's gaze hardens as he looks at his
mother.
Everything is different.
She looks down.
I guess I wouldn't know about that.
She lifts her gaze to Adam, who blinks.
He stares at his mother, who takes a
deep breath and glances away.
Your clothes will be dry now.
You can take these flapjacks with you if
you want.
I won't be eating them.
Back on the train, the window reflects Adam's
face as it speeds past the trees outside.
Later, Adam returns home.
Trudging into his apartment, he tosses his keys
aside and takes off his sweater.
He sits down and stares off wearily.
As he swallows, he winces a bit and
works his jaw.
He opens his door for Harry.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'm okay.
Just got a bit of a chill.
Hey.
You're hot.
Yeah.
I just got caught in the rain.
Okay.
Well, why don't I run you a hot
bath?
My nan says there's literally nothing a hot
bath couldn't solve.
I don't really like baths.
Fuck off.
Who doesn't like baths?
You don't need to be shy around me.
Yes.
It's easier said than done.
In the bathroom, Harry watches as Adam pulls
down his pants.
Adam grins bashfully at him.
Would you like me to close my eyes?
Yes, please.
Later, Adam lies in the tub.
Harry gently strokes his forehead.
I've been thinking about you all week today.
I was thinking about watching crappy TV with
you on a Friday night.
Eating takeaway on your sofa.
Watching old episodes of Top of the Pops
before I was born.
Thought about something else too.
Thought about fucking you.
I am?
Yeah.
Only that you fucking me, I don't really
care which.
I'm into that.
Adam meets Harry's gaze and nods.
Yeah.
It's okay if you're not real.
Don't need to be into fucking.
I wasn't for the longest time, for obvious
reasons.
Obvious reasons?
I felt that if I fucked anyone, I'd
die.
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine.
I'm not old.
Later in bed, Harry lies on top of
Adam.
Adam briefly lifts his head off the mattress,
then relaxes back.
As Harry sinks on top of him, Adam
grips the back of his head and his
bare back.
As their naked bodies move together, Adam slides
his hand toward the small of Harry's back,
then squeezes his rear.
As the two lovers kiss, Adam runs his
fingers through Harry's hair.
Later, Harry lies on his back while Adam
runs his hand up and down his chest.
You said the other day you don't see
your dad much.
Yeah.
How about your mom?
Yeah.
Yeah, same.
How come?
They know you're queer?
Yeah, of course.
Are you okay with this?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, they brought you to old school.
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
Yeah.
But I got used to it, sort of.
Just don't say too much.
You could say that I have drifted to
the edge.
All right, up to the edge, almost.
Over the edge.
What's that mean?
Yeah, I'm on the edge of the family.
My sister and her kids.
My older brother just got married.
They've all got this spot in the centre.
That's okay.
Why is it okay?
Because I don't go home much.
Does that make you sad?
No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
Why?
I've always felt like a stranger in my
own family.
And then coming out just puts an end
to that difference.
It's always been there.
It's only in this.
It's not really anyone's fault.
The corners of Adam's lips lower into a
deep frown.
He shakes his head and blinks his teary
eyes.
What's wrong?
He scratches the bridge of his nose with
his thumb as he gazes off.
It's funny.
Things are better now.
Of course they are.
It doesn't take much to make you feel
the way you felt.
Back there again, it's game over all.
He gazes off with his head resting on
his arm.
Glancing at Harry, he rubs his eyes.
Are they still hot?
Harry touches his forehead.
It's a little.
Adam gazes toward Harry with a gentle smile,
then kisses his arm.
His knuckles and thumb graze the stubble on
Harry's chin.
Adam gives Harry's arm a squeeze and gazes
into his face.
You wanna stay the night?
With a happy chuckle, Harry nods.
Adam resumes rubbing his chest.
Daytime, the tower block stands tall against the
blue sky.
Now, Adam sits on the train, gazing out
the window as another train passes beside him.
He turns his gaze toward a father and
a 10-year-old boy seated side by
side.
The father smiles as he chats with people
seated across from him.
Frowning, the boy turns his gaze from the
window and looks at Adam.
Adam stares back a moment, then turns his
attention back to his window.
At his childhood home, Adam rings the bell.
Inside, Adam stands with his dad.
I'm sure she won't be long.
It's okay.
Just wanted to talk to her.
Yeah, I know you did.
His dad puts on a record.
This was your granddad's favourite.
I never really liked it much at the
time, but it's grounded me.
Adam picks up a figurine.
If you wanna see your mom really lose
her shit, go ahead and break that bloody
thing.
His dad sits down.
Come on, little lad, sit yourself down.
He lights a cigarette as Adam sits on
a sofa.
Avoiding eye contact, he blows out some smoke,
then lowers his gaze to his lap.
Adam watches him.
What she told you then?
I was scared he wouldn't come back.
But you know what your mom's like, you
know?
Don't be too disappointed in her.
No, I'm not.
She just needs to rearrange some things in
her head and all the stories that she's
built up.
She'll soon realise it's not actually about her.
Keeping his gaze locked on his dad, Adam
nods.
What about you?
What about me?
What do you think?
His dad shrugs.
I mean, it was hardly a shock.
I always knew you were a bit tooty
-frooty.
You couldn't throw a ball for shit no
matter how many times I tried to teach
you.
Jesus.
Couldn't for shit, couldn't for shit.
Make me sound like a horrible cliche.
Well, can you throw a ball?
Not at all.
Well, there you go.
Adam looks down and chuckles to himself.
Would you have liked me to have known?
I don't know.
I would hear you crying in your room
after school.
Did the boys bully you then?
Not just the boys.
What would they do?
Uh, call me a girl.
Ignore me, refuse to play with me, stick
my head down the toilet, flick drawing pens
in my face.
Exactly.
Yeah.
No.
No.
Gives you a little cancer on there.
Adam regards his father, his lips perched in
a small frown.
He shakes his head thoughtfully.
So why didn't you come into my room
and hear me crying?
Why didn't you tell me what was happening
at school?
You know, you answer me first.
Be honest.
I just didn't want to think of you
as the kind of boy that the other
lads would pick on.
And, uh, I knew that if I was
at your school, I'd probably pick on you
too.
Yeah, I think I always probably thought that
anyway.
Probably why I didn't tell you what was
happening to me at school.
Adam's father shrugs his shoulder a bit and
takes another drag from his cigarette.
He stands and takes the needle off the
record.
You know, when she told me, it did
make me think about all the jokes that
we make.
You know, we did impressions of your English
teacher when he'd mince around with his limp
wrist.
And you told me not to cross my
legs like a woman over and over and
over again.
Did I?
Yeah, I still think about it every time
I cross my legs.
I have good memories too.
I hope so.
Okay, I hope so.
I hope you did.
Remember, you used to love decorating the tree.
You were crazy for us every year.
And you'd always let me put the finger
on top of the tree.
They both smile a little.
Adam's smile fades as he watches his father.
Keeping his head bowed, Adam's father looks down
at the floor and rubs his brow.
He rubs his moustache and faces Adam while
keeping his gaze averted.
I'm sorry I never gave any room when
you were crying.
No, really, it's okay.
Let's not get there, Elizabeth.
It's not, Dad.
Dad, I get it.
It was so long.
It was so long.
Stop.
Adam covers his face with his hands.
His father's jaw twitches emotionally.
He stands and looks down at his son
who continues to hide his face.
Can I hug you now?
Yeah, please.
Adam stands and his dad envelops him in
a loving embrace.
You're all right, son.
You're all right.
You're all right.
Adam stares over his father's shoulder into a
mirror.
In the reflection, his father embraces his younger
self and kisses the top of his head.
Later, the train speeds alongside tracks.
Adam gazes out the window with a serene
expression.
Later at home, Adam removes Harry's jacket and
backs him against a wall wearing a lascivious
grin.
He unbuckles Harry's belt.
After this...
Now Adam walks alone down the street.
I want to go home.
You and me.
Together.
On a tube train, Adam rubs Harry's arm.
Into the world.
Later, Harry follows Adam into a crowded nightclub.
Adam glances back at Harry and says something,
then moves on.
They squeeze their way through a crowd of
dancing bodies.
Reaching a bar, Adam turns and speaks into
Harry's ear.
What do you want to drink?
A bartender hands two pints to Adam.
He gives one to Harry, and they make
their way back through the packed club.
Harry bumps into a few people as he
passes.
Oh, sorry.
You want a drink?
Sorry.
They find a seat by a mirror lit
by a strip of red light.
Later, Adam returns to their seats with more
drinks.
Oh, come on, you're going to miss this.
I can't hear you.
So do you dance?
For who I set it up?
Let's get wasted enough.
Each down the shot and suck on a
lime wedge, Harry stands up.
Come on.
He pulls Adam up and with their fingers
entwined, they disappear into a sea of dancing
bodies.
Later, Adam grins at Harry as he bounces
to the beat.
And the club goers with raised arms, Adam
and Harry move to the music.
Adam opens his mouth in a joyful smile
and throws his hands into the air.
Now, Harry locks him in a bathroom stall
and takes out a tiny baggie of white
powder.
Where'd you get this?
I found it in my wallet.
Fuck knows how long it's been there.
Using a key, he scoops the powder and
sniffs it into his nose.
Adam sniffs some as well.
I think that's cat beat.
Oh, really?
Have you done it before?
No.
You look after me.
They kiss passionately against the wall.
Back on the dance floor, Adam stares glassy
-eyed, his lips in a tight oak shape.
In front of him, Harry smiles as he
dances in slow motion.
The images of their faces merge together briefly.
Harry's form blurs together with other people dancing
around him.
Now in a shadowy corner of the bar,
Adam and Harry hold each other close.
A stream of light silhouettes them as they
kiss passionately, their hands caressing one another.
Their image blurs into those of people on
the dance floor, then to light bouncing off
a disco ball and beams that cut through
the smoky air.
To another party As Harry dances, Adam watches
him, his head tilted slightly to one side,
his gaze drifts.
Now Adam and Harry lie together in bed.
Harry talks, moving his hand animatedly.
Morning, Adam wakes in his bed next to
a snoozing Harry.
Later in the kitchen, Harry stirs eggs in
a pan.
Behind him, Adam comes from around a corner,
putting on a robe.
Later, Adam lounges on his sofa, typing on
his laptop.
He looks across the room to Harry, who
reads as a record spins on a turntable.
Now a band plays on the TV.
Harry sits on the sofa munching on a
slice of pizza.
Adam lies with his head resting on Harry's
lap.
The caption on the TV reads, Frankie goes
to Hollywood, the power of love.
In the bathroom, Harry brushes his teeth while
Adam dries the back of Harry's neck and
shoulders with a towel.
Sitting on the floor in front of the
window, Adam and Harry each select a small
piece of something from a jar.
They eat it.
As they gaze into each other's eyes, Harry
smiles.
At night, Adam sits up watching TV as
Harry sleeps with his head on his lap.
Adam strokes Harry's hair.
In bed, the two of them sleep with
their backs to each other.
Now Adam sits up in bed alone.
He looks out at the city lights outside
his window.
He lowers his feet to the floor and
steps toward the window.
He enters the nightclub.
Clubgoers move listlessly to music.
Adam walks among them, searching the crowd.
A shirtless young man walking in the opposite
direction saddles up close past Adam, and they
smile slyly at one another.
Adam moves on, searching the crowd in the
strobing light.
He nearly bumps into a young woman as
he catches himself on a pole.
He woosily closes his eyes and stretches his
neck.
As he regains his balance, he catches his
reflection in the mirror and sees Harry standing
behind him.
Adam smiles at him.
Suddenly, his smile fades.
He shuts his eyes and wobbles unsteadily on
his feet.
Adam lets out a primal scream.
Harry disappears.
Now in bed, Adam's eyes open.
He shifts under the pastel striped sheets and
his hand brushes against a small wooden headboard
with stickers on it.
As he runs his fingers along the wall,
his arm turns into that of a child
wearing pyjamas.
Now Adam walks downstairs in his childhood home
in stockinged feet in a bathrobe.
He pauses at the bottom, his hands on
the bannister.
Tinsel garlands hang on a wall of family
photos.
Adam approaches a closed door and slowly pushes
it open.
Inside, he finds his parents decorating a Christmas
tree.
Adam, what's wrong?
His mother feels his face.
Oh, you're really hot.
Harry's really hot.
His dad puts the back of his hand
against Adam's forehead.
He gives Adam an ornament.
Squeeze in, squeeze in, squeeze in.
Adam joins his parents around the tree.
He looks at the tree for a moment
and sits down on the floor and adds
the ornament to a lower branch.
His mother looks down toward him.
Tears fill her eyes.
I'm so sorry I was blind.
You were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love
isn't done.
Adam's dad holds up the angel tree topper
with a playful shake.
Adam grins.
One more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied.
He stands up and adds the angel to
the top of the tree.
Adam's mother gives him a kiss on the
cheek as his dad sets up a camera
on a tripod.
Okay, get together.
Yeah, yeah, you ready?
I'm going to impress it.
Adam's dad quickly joins them in front of
the tree.
Adam puts his arm around him as they
pose.
He's fantastic.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
There you go.
As the camera flashes, a photograph shows young
Adam posing in front of the tree with
his parents.
The photo fades into the Frankie Goes to
Hollywood music video.
Now Adam lies in his childhood bed.
Is this real?
Does it feel real?
Yeah.
There you go then.
For how long though?
I can't answer that.
I suppose we don't get to decide when
it's over.
His mother leans down and gives him a
gentle kiss on the forehead.
He holds on to her hand.
You're not going out now, are you?
Where would we go?
The Walsh's.
The Walsh's?
The Walsh's?
No, no, wait.
You promised me you're not going to go
out now.
I promise.
We're just going to be asleep next door.
His mother nods.
I promise.
Adam's eyes narrow.
Get some sleep.
She shuts off his bedside lamp.
Adam watches her leave the room.
He quickly lifts his head off the pillow.
He tries to settle back down.
He rubs his face.
In the hall.
What is this we are?
Adam stands outside a bedroom door.
I can't sleep.
He slowly pushes open the door.
His mother lies awake beside his sleeping father.
Do you want to get in?
Can I?
Of course you can.
She pats her husband's shoulder and he groggily
rolls over to the far side of the
bed.
Adam climbs in between them and gets under
the covers.
He settles down on his side, facing his
mother, who lies on her back, eyes open.
It still smells the same in here.
You'd creep in here night after night saying
you couldn't sleep.
You're always scared of something.
Murderers breaking in or rabies or nuclear war.
Do people still get rabies?
No.
Oh.
I was desperate for you to grow up
just so I could get a good night's
sleep.
She shuts her eyes.
Adam watches her.
Sorry.
What are you sorry for?
She turns her head to face him.
I'm the sorry one.
Should have realised you're driving me bananas.
She smiles warmly at him.
His lips lift in a small smile.
She shifts onto her side so they can
lie face to face.
Where did you go?
You know, afterwards.
Lived with Granny.
She took me to Dublin.
Yeah, I thought so.
Why didn't you live with his lot?
Why didn't you live with Granny May?
They said she was too heartbroken.
About what?
Well, she'd lost her son.
Oh, I see.
But my mother was fine about losing her
only daughter.
No, no.
She was not fine.
I just can't believe that she got to
look after you and I didn't.
Are any of them still around now?
Adam shakes his head.
No.
No, they wouldn't be, would they?
Then how did you get on over there
with Mum?
Did you manage to fit in better at
school?
I made sure I did.
He shuts his eyes and settles more into
the pillow he shares with his mother.
I hate that we weren't around when you
needed us most, Will.
And I hate even more that I wasn't
there before that, not really.
No, that's not true.
Oh, come on.
I was hardly Mother of the Year, was
I?
But I like to think that I would
have got better at it in time.
You know, given time.
You know, when I was a teenager, or
even later, into my 20s, I used to
plot it all out.
Do you mean?
What we might have done together.
In intricate detail.
Trips to the Whitgift Centre.
Birthdays.
Trips to London.
The Planetarium.
The London Dungeon.
Oh, I always wanted to go there.
I know.
There were holidays that we might have gone
on together.
Oh, did we make it to Disneyland?
We did.
When I was 14.
It rained non-stop.
And they shut down Space Mountain.
And we fought every day.
Why did we have to fight?
Because that's what everyone did with their parents.
They fought and bickered and pretended that they
were ruining each other's lives.
Did we make up?
No, we didn't need to make up.
We were together.
So.
So did Mother.
Gazing into Adam's eyes, she puts her hand
on his face and strokes his cheek with
her thumb.
You okay?
A hand reaches out to his shoulder from
behind.
No.
You're okay, son.
Adam takes his mother's hand in his and
with his other hand grips the one on
his shoulder.
As he feels the fingers, his eyes widen
and he turns to find Harry behind him.
You're okay.
Adam turns more to face him.
Are you two in here?
You're not supposed to be here.
Harry kisses Adam.
They hold each other's faces in their hands
as they kiss.
Adam smiles.
Adam's smile quickly fades as a faint blue
light flashes over them.
He looks at Harry with a quizzical expression,
then turns back over to find his mother
gone.
He puts his hand on the pillow where
her head had been.
He turns over and finds Harry gone.
He stares up at the ceiling.
Suddenly, Adam wakes with a start on the
train.
He breathes hard as people on a station
platform walk past his window.
He sees Harry walk past.
Harry meets Adam's gaze as he continues walking.
In the station, Harry trots down a flight
of stairs.
Far behind him, Adam hurries to catch up.
As he moves briskly, Adam's gaze shifts to
posters on the wall denouncing drinking and driving.
He boards an underground train.
Holding onto a pole, he scans the people
in the car.
His jaw tense, Adam looks around with a
disconcerted gaze.
Turning his head, he spots Harry through a
doorway in the next car over.
As a passenger shifts in front of the
door, Harry disappears.
Adam's brow furrows and he swallows hard.
He covers his mouth with his elbow.
He makes his way over to an empty
seat and sits while trying to cover his
hacking cough.
He woosily tilts his head back and feels
his forehead with the back of his hand.
In front of him, his reflection in the
dark window stretches as he covers his ears.
The reflection changes to that of his younger
self.
Adam lurches trying to hold in more coughs.
His young reflection screams.
Adam wakes up in his own bed beside
Harry.
You look so scared.
Adam stares wide-eyed into the distance.
Hey, come here, come here.
Harry pulls him into a tight embrace.
I'm here, it's okay.
You're okay.
A view from the living room through the
bedroom doorway shows Harry with Adam in the
bed.
I was sleeping in their bed the night
they went out.
I was meant to go with them to
Christmas drinks at the Walsh's.
Now Adam stands in the shower.
Around midnight, two police came to the door,
a man and a woman.
Later, he stands in front of the mirror,
gazing off.
He had really beautiful, kind eyes and this
thick, dark stubble.
It looked like it had been drawn on.
The car skidded on black ice.
Both of them had been drinking.
He sits on the sofa with Harry.
Dad was killed right away, but they took
mum to St Mary's in Croydon and she
died a few days later.
Did you get to see her?
What, do you mean, she didn't say goodbye?
Mm-hmm, yeah.
No, my granny told her it would be
too scarring.
Mum went through the windscreen and she lost
an eye, so she was pretty fucked up.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I went looking for that eye.
I don't know why.
I didn't want anyone else to find it.
I thought it would be on the side
of the road.
Staring up at me.
I did find a tiny piece of the
windscreen glass then.
Adam lowers his gaze.
My head had had blood on it, but
maybe that's not true.
The nurse said that mum woke up just
before she died.
I must have been so confused, I could
hardly see.
Dad wasn't there, I wasn't there.
I can't even begin to imagine how you
felt.
How lonely you must have been.
Yeah, but I'd always felt lonely, even before.
This is a new feeling.
Like terror.
That I'd always be alone now.
And then as I got older, that feeling
just solidified.
Just a knot here all the time.
And then losing them, I just got tangled
up with all the other stuff.
About being gay.
It's just a feeling like the future doesn't
matter.
Adam looks off, shaking his head.
Harry stares distantly.
Does that make sense?
He lifts his teary eyes to Adam and
nods.
Yeah.
I know how easy it can be to
stop caring about yourself.
He puts his hand on Adam's shoulder.
Yeah.
Adam reaches toward him and Harry smiles a
little.
Adam lowers his gaze with a pained look
on his face.
Adam.
He shakes his head a little then lifts
his gaze to meet Harry's.
Will you come with me?
Where to?
Just let me show you.
Adam cups Harry's face in his hand and
gently rubs his ear.
Later, Harry and Adam sit next to each
other on the train.
Harry stares out the window with his curled
fingers to his lips.
Reflected in the glass, Adam turns to look
at him.
Harry glances at Adam then returns his stare
to the window.
At night, Adam rings the doorbell at his
childhood home.
Whose house is this?
My parents.
Yeah.
Who lives here now?
Adam smiles and pats Harry's shoulder.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
Adam waits staring at the door then heads
around a bush and peers into a window.
He knocks on the glass.
Hello?
Adam.
Harry shifts uncomfortably.
Adam heads back around the bush and pushes
through a side gate.
Harry follows him to a closed side door.
Hello?
Where are they?
Who?
Adam heads around a corner to the back
of the house.
Hello?
Who?
My parents.
This is our house.
This is our kitchen.
This is our wallpaper.
That's our table where we had fish and
chips every Friday night so my mother could
pretend we were still Catholic.
Adam, I want to go home.
Let me take you home.
This is my home.
No, it used to be.
Mum!
Adam!
Dad!
Adam, please let me take you home.
Look, you go home.
You go home.
I'm not going.
Adam bangs on a French door.
Where are they?
Mum?
Dad!
Harry goes to stop him but his gaze
catches on something inside.
Can you see them?
Wide-eyed, Harry backs away from Adam and
the door.
Inside, Adam's parents' ghostly forms stand motionless staring
at them.
Please.
Please let me in.
Please let me in.
Adam's fist breaks the glass.
Now, Adam lies on his side.
His eyes blink open.
He looks up at his uninjured hand.
We're not allowing him to get in.
It's not normal.
It's too soon.
It's not normal.
Why didn't you let us in?
His parents turn away from a window and
toward Adam.
Where is he?
Is he here?
Is Harry here?
No.
We did see him though.
His mum sits down on the edge of
the bed.
I wanted you to meet him.
I know but I don't think this works
like that.
You look like a handsome fella though.
Is he your special friend?
Do you mean my boyfriend?
Is he my boyfriend?
If you could say it.
Okay, well is he your boyfriend?
Um...
I don't know.
Adam's dad sits down beside his wife.
Are you in love with him?
Why is that so strange?
I don't know.
I've never been in love before so...
Not really.
So this...
I don't know if this is it.
Sweetheart.
Well he certainly seems to care about you
a whole heap.
In my not so humble opinion.
As his dad turns to face him, Adam
nods.
You think he'd like to be in love
with him?
Adam blinks then meets his dad's gaze and
nods again.
They share a smile.
As his dad turns away, his smile fades
and his eyes grow teary.
His mother looks away from Adam as well.
Adam sits up more in bed and looks
at them.
They bow their heads.
Adam's dad turns toward him.
Sorry, I think we need to...
No, don't say it.
Adam covers his dad's mouth.
Please don't say it.
We have to.
We have to.
Me and your mum...
We think that it's best you don't come
visit us anymore.
Just gonna keep coming and coming.
I know you are.
We can see what this is doing to
you.
It's not doing anything to me.
Yes, it is.
I won't let you move on.
Okay, well I'll come less.
I'll come once a year.
I'll come on Christmas.
Come on, lad.
You have to have known that this wasn't
gonna last forever.
I'm not asking for it to last forever.
I'm just...
It hasn't been long enough.
It hasn't been close to long enough.
Tears well up in Adam's eyes and he
puts his face in his hands.
I know, but it never could be, could
it?
Adam's father crosses his arms and his mother
turns her gaze back toward the window.
Adam's dad stares thoughtfully toward the ceiling.
He shifts closer to Adam.
Listen, I've got an idea.
How's about...
How's about we go to your favourite place
in the whole bloody world?
I'm sure it's still open.
It's the next best thing to Disneyland.
It's fucking cheaper too.
I think.
Later, a car travels past a sign for
an American diner.
Inside a nearby empty shopping mall, Adam and
his parents approach an escalator going up to
the second floor.
They ride up under a high glass ceiling.
Later, Adam sits in a restaurant booth facing
his parents.
He smiles up toward a waitress.
Uh, can I get the family special, please?
It's a lot of food.
That's okay.
As the waitress steps away, Adam nervously rubs
his knuckles together.
I'm really very hungry.
No, me neither.
His dad looks down at the table and
his mother gazes at Adam with a furrowed
brow.
I want to ask you something.
God, no, don't ask.
I'm going to ask him.
Was it quick?
Oh, Jesus, I told you not to ask.
You want to know.
But what if it was slow and horribly
painful?
It's a big difference.
It was quick.
Was it?
Yeah.
For both of us?
No, you don't seem sure.
Don't be fibbing now.
It was quick.
It was really quick.
She breathes a sigh of relief.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, well, that's a relief, isn't it?
Sorts.
It's been playing on my mind, that is.
Adam nods a little and looks down at
his hands.
You think we should say to each other?
I'm not sure I have much wisdom to
share.
I don't know, maybe Adam being older should
be sharing some with us.
Maybe we shouldn't say anything.
Maybe.
Although I will say that getting to know
you has made us very proud, son.
Adam shakes his head.
I haven't done anything to be proud of.
I've just muddled through.
Yeah, but you got through some tough times,
I'm sure.
You're still here.
And that's what we're proud of.
His mother nods in agreement as they both
gaze at Adam.
Yeah.
Adam looks from his dad to his mom
and back again.
Dad, stay.
Stay.
Stay a bit longer.
No, I don't think so, son.
I love you, darling.
His mother leans in close to her husband.
You do?
He tilts his head toward her.
Sometimes I wasn't so sure.
Whatever problems we had, I'm glad we got
to be together at the end.
He nods and she kisses his cheek.
His brow wrinkles emotionally.
I know I was never good at saying
it.
Just couldn't get the words out.
He stares at Adam.
I do love you very much.
Somehow even more now that I know you.
Adam smiles at his dad.
He bows his head.
His dad reaches across the table and squeezes
his hand.
It's important that you believe me.
I do.
I know I love you very much.
Dad?
Dad?
Dad, did you hear that?
Oh, Adam, are you there?
I can't see you.
Why can't I see you?
Adam's eyes glisten.
I'm here, mom.
They hold hands.
Oh, there you are.
She gives them a squeeze.
I can feel you.
Your skin's lovely and warm.
Will you listen?
You promised me that you were going to
try with this Harry boy.
Yeah.
I'd have liked him.
I know it.
He might need a bit of taking care
of, mind you.
He's got such a sad face.
Do you hear me?
Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
That's good.
I hope you make each other a bit
happier.
Your face lowers and she blinks.
Smiling, Adam shakes his head and a tear
rolls down his cheek.
His mother gazes across the table, her eyes
glassy and distant.
Such a kind and gentle boy.
Lips parted, she stares with an unfocused gaze.
She leans back against her seat.
As Adam watches her, his eyes brim with
tears.
The waitress approaches.
Adam moves his arms from the table and
sits back, tears staining his cheeks.
He glances up at the waitress as she
sets down three milkshakes and some food.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
As the waitress steps away, Adam blinks at
the three shakes lined up before him.
His face tenses emotionally.
Now trees blur past in front of a
low golden sun.
Adam sits on the train staring ahead.
He turns to the window and watches the
scenery go by.
Nighttime.
A red full moon hangs over the city.
In the apartment building's lift, Adam presses the
button for the sixth floor.
As he waits, he looks at his reflection
in the mirrored wall.
He turns back to face the doors, a
small smile tugging at his lips.
The floor indicator shows a six.
As the doors slide open, Adam frowns.
His eyes shift, and he steps slowly off
the lift into the hall.
He gazes down the long corridor to his
left, then turns to his right and starts
walking.
He heads toward an apartment at the end
of the hall with slow, measured steps.
A small sign on the wall reads 607.
Adam steps slow, and he tilts his head
toward the door.
He slowly presses down on the handle and
opens the apartment door.
As he steps inside, his nose wrinkles, and
he holds up his hand in front of
his nose and mouth.
Leaving the door open behind him, Adam walks
further into the apartment.
His jaw hangs slack as his gaze scans
the living room.
He notices some clothing strewn across the sofa.
He lifts the sleeve of a denim top
then sets it back down as his gaze
continues to search the room.
He crosses to a table near a TV,
playing static.
Adam picks up a tiny baggie like the
one from the nightclub bathroom.
He turns it in his fingers, then shifts
his attention to the TV.
He hits a button on a remote.
Adam's gaze fixes on a closed door on
the other side of the TV.
Jaw-tied, he slowly moves toward it.
As he reaches the pocket door, he lifts
his knuckles.
Adam slides the door open, peeks inside, then
quickly turns away and shuts the door.
Keeping his head turned from the door, Adam
shuts his eyes and works his mouth nauseatedly.
Stealing himself, he slowly turns back toward the
door and slides it open again.
As he steps inside, he covers his mouth
with the back of his hand.
He takes a few slow steps into the
room, his unblinking gaze fixed on something before
him.
Still covering his mouth, he lowers himself onto
the edge of a bed.
He lowers his hand from his face as
he takes in a body lying in the
clothes Harry was wearing the first night they
met.
Adam lifts the empty liquor bottle.
He studies it with a confused and despondent
expression.
He sets the bottle down and puts his
hand on Harry's hip.
His fingers rest near Harry's lifeless hand.
Adam bows his head sorrowfully.
He turns his attention toward the open bedroom
door.
He stands and steps back out into the
living room.
Lingering by the door, he looks toward the
kitchen and shifts on his feet.
Harry stares back at him, the liquor bottle
in his hand.
What are you doing down here?
Adam slides the bedroom door shut.
I came to find you.
Harry steps closer, rubbing his stomach.
Why are you here?
Adam blinks his teary eyes.
I said goodbye to them so I came
to see you.
Harry agitatedly rubs his chest and turns away.
Adam shakes his head.
It's okay.
It's not okay though, is it?
Harry lifts the hand holding the bottle with
a shrug.
He looks down at the bottle and tilts
his head.
I was so scared that night.
I just needed to not be alone.
I know.
Adam steps up close to Harry and looks
him in the eyes.
I'm sorry.
I was too scared to let you in.
Harry lowers his gaze.
He shifts his gaze toward the bedroom door.
I'm in there, aren't I?
Let's just go upstairs.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just need you to tell me, okay?
I can smell it.
I can taste it in my throat.
Wincing, Harry shakes his head.
How come no one found me?
Harry searches Adam's face.
It was my mom and my dad.
I found you.
No, but, Adam, I don't want you to
see me like that in there.
Adam cups Harry's face.
With me.
Eyes brimming with tears, Adam gives a reassuring
smile.
Let's just go upstairs.
Harry relaxes into a smile as Adam gently
strokes his cheek.
They kiss.
Adam looks Harry in the eye and smiles.
Now they lie on their sides in bed,
facing each other.
Adam runs his fingertips through the hair on
the top of Harry's head.
I saw her, you know, your mom, your
dad, too, at the house.
They saw you, too.
They did?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
My dad said you were a handsome fellow.
They loved you.
They both would.
Of course.
Of course.
She got to say what she wanted to
say.
I don't know.
I got to be with her.
It's good that you're all together.
Yeah.
They each blink as they gaze lovingly into
each other's eyes.
I'm scared.
I know.
But I'm here with you.
Don't let this get tangled up again.
Okay, come on.
It's so quiet.
I never could stand how quiet this place
was.
Well, you've got a record on.
What would you like?
Yeah, you choose.
I'll protect you from the Hooded Crow.
Keep the vampires from your door.
As Adam lies with Harry curled up in
his arms, the view draws up in a
way.
They keep bad at bay, bad at bay.
Love is bright, scaring darkness away.
I'm so in love with you, purge your
soul.
Make love your goal.
The power's from above.
Their entwined forms grow smaller and smaller as
the view drifts higher above them.
Flame on, burn, desire.
Love with tongues of fire.
Purge the soul.
Make love your goal.
Dozens of faint stars gradually begin to appear
around the bright circle of light in a
nighttime sky.
I'll protect you from the Hooded Crow.
Keep the vampires from your door.
When the chips are down, I'll be around
with my undying hand.
Let yourself be beautiful.
Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls.
Crushing and crushing inside of me.
The power.
This time we go sublime.
Love pleasure.
Love is pure, the only treasure.
I'm so in love with you, purge the
soul.
Make love your goal.
The power's
from above.
A skyscraping girl.
With tongues
of fire.
Purge the soul.
Make love your goal.
illuminating a towering edifice in the form of
searchlight pictures, with the lights of Hollywood, palm
trees, and the hills beyond.
Wispy clouds hang in a twilight sky that
silhouettes city buildings lining the horizon.
A glint of sunlight reflects off one of
the buildings and grows in intensity.
Slowly, the faint image of a man fades
up over the cityscape.
Shirtless, he stares with a haunted expression in
the reddish glow of early morning.
The light reflecting off the building in the
distance shines like a starburst.
The picture fades and a title appears, All
of Us Strangers.
Now the man sits at a small desk
in front of a window.
The dark-haired, middle-aged man wears a
cardigan over a blue t-shirt.
He leans forward in his chair and rests
his hands on a laptop's keyboard.
Shoulders hunched and head bowed, he sits motionless.
He lifts his chin and gazes off with
a thoughtful squint.
Blinking, he returns his gaze to the laptop,
then leans back in his chair.
Later, he lounges on a sofa by a
sunlit window.
He munches on a snack.
Meanwhile, work goes on for the Brits who've
relocated to the Costa.
Running a bar in the sun is the
classic British dream.
It can easily turn into a nightmare, but
Gary and Cherry from Macclesfield have made it
work.
The bamboo bar is a success.
Later, the man sleeps while the window beside
the sofa frames city lights under the dusky
sky.
The man wakes, groggily props himself up on
one elbow, and looks outside.
With a yawn, he sits all the way
up and gazes out the window.
Now he opens a fridge and lifts a
foil takeaway container.
Using the lid, he moves noodles around, inspecting
them.
He tilts his head back and gives an
annoyed glance toward the ceiling.
Replacing the lid on the container, he puts
it back in the fridge.
Now he trudges down an empty hallway.
He presses a lift call
button.
Moments later, he steps through his apartment building's
automatic door and into a courtyard.
He pauses momentarily to look back up at
the building, then continues walking.
As he glances back at the building again,
he notices something.
He stops and turns completely, staring up at
the apartment tower.
All the windows sit dark and empty save
for one about five stories up.
In the bluish glow of the light behind
him, a person stands at the window, looking
down at the dark-haired man.
As the person steps away from the window,
the man continues to stare up at it.
As he slowly heads back toward the building,
the view rises past floors of dark windows
to the only other lit window near the
top floor.
Inside, the takeaway container sits empty as the
man sits before a musical performance on his
TV.
He turns his gaze toward the door.
He pauses the TV, which shows a caption
that reads, Frankie goes to Hollywood, the power
of love.
He opens his door to a man with
shaggy hair and a moustache.
Hello.
Hello.
I saw you looking at me from the
street.
I've seen you a bunch of times coming
and going with your head down.
One day it'll be for real, that alarm.
He shifts on his feet and glances down
the hall.
We're basically the only ones here.
Can you fucking believe that?
I mean, I haven't got security guards yet.
I'm Harry.
The moustached man offers his hand.
Adam.
As Adam shakes it, Harry's gentle grip lingers
on Adam's fingers.
How do you cope?
Adam's lips part and he shakes his head.
With what?
With his head.
Adam stares at Harry, then lowers his gaze
and twists his lips.
It's so quiet.
I mean, no one's out there, but we
can't hear a fucking thing.
Harry leans his head against the doorjamb.
I play music, right, but it's worse when
it ends.
I even got one of those white noise
machines, right, but it's like there's someone in
the corner of the room whispering about me.
I mean, we can't even open the windows,
but I guess they don't really want us
to jump.
It's bad for business, you know.
Body's broken on the concrete.
I mean, who's going to move in then?
Drink?
It's Japanese.
It's meant to be the best in the
world, but I couldn't tell you why.
He holds an almost empty liquor bottle.
No, thanks.
Okay, um...
Okay, how about I come in anyway?
If not for a drink, then...
for whatever else you might want.
Adam tilts his head and regards Harry with
a bashful smile.
Um...
I think that's a good idea.
Do I scare you?
No.
We don't have to do anything if I'm
not your type.
There's vampires at my door.
Adam lingers by the door, keeping his palm
pressed against it.
On the other side, Harry keeps his head
tilted back against the wall and shuts his
eyes.
Adam sits back down on his sofa.
He glances over at his closed door, then
picks up some items from the coffee table.
He glances at the door again, lowers his
gaze, and sets the items back down.
In a lift, the mirrored walls reflect Harry's
image infinitely, as he swigs from his liquor
bottle.
He leans against the wall beside the digital
floor indicator, which displays an arrow pointing downward,
then the number six.
Gazing upward, Harry blinks slowly.
Now Adam sleeps in his apartment, framed by
the open bedroom door.
Morning.
Two tower-block apartments stand side by side,
with more city buildings stretching toward the horizon.
Words type out on a document on Adam's
laptop.
Exterior, Suburban House, 1987.
The cursor blinks at the end of the
line.
Seated at his desk, Adam stares straight ahead,
then turns to look toward his bedroom.
He gets up.
Moments later, he pulls a plastic storage container
from under his bed and tosses it on
top of the mattress.
Later, he goes through the contents of the
container.
He closes a blank cassette case and sets
it among the various items before him.
He gently picks up a small angel tree
topper made from burlap.
He tosses the decoration aside and picks up
a silver lighter.
He tries igniting it, but the flame doesn't
light.
He turns the flat square device in his
fingers, then puts it down.
Hanging his head, he picks up an old
envelope from a photo developer and flips through
the pictures inside.
The first few feature a boy about ten
years old, smiling on a swing.
Adam puts the pack of photos down and
picks up a small album.
Turning the page, he finds a photo of
a suburban two-story house with a tan
sedan, parked in the driveway.
Adam stares at the photo.
Working his jaw, he gazes off and sets
the photo album down.
He turns his distant gaze toward the window,
where a train curves along a track below.
Now a train travels over a river past
a skyline of modern buildings.
Adam sits aboard, staring out his window.
Another train speeds past in the opposite direction.
Shadow briefly fills the car as the train
speeds past trees that blot out the sun.
Adam watches the treetops blur past, then shuts
his eyes.
His head rocks gently against his seat with
the movement of the train.
Later, the departing train's windows reflect a backwards
word on a station sign, Sanders Stead.
Adam stands at the station, his eyes darting
thoughtfully.
He heads away on foot.
In a suburban neighbourhood, Adam walks down a
pavement past two-story homes.
He slows at the end of a driveway
that slopes slightly downward toward a garage.
Adam holds the picture of the suburban home
up and compares it to the house in
front of him.
The roofline and white stucco match the photo
perfectly.
Adam continues walking past, tucking the photo into
an inside jacket pocket.
As he passes alongside a shoulder-high hedge,
his gaze stays focused on the house.
He slows to a stop in front of
a bay window, where a boy stands staring
out at him.
Adam stares back for a moment, then keeps
walking.
At a park, Adam sits at a table
near a playground, gazing at some of the
old photographs.
He glances up toward the children playing nearby.
Twisting his lips, he pockets the photos and
munches on some fries from a paper cone.
As he chews, he looks down at his
hands, then around at the passing park-goers
and playing children.
Later, hands in the pockets of his jeans,
Adam walks across a field of dry, knee
-high grass.
He approaches a strand of trees at the
edge of the field as a breeze blows
through their branches.
Adam walks through the trees and comes out
into another field of even taller grass.
He slows to a stop, his gaze distant
under a furrowed brow.
Under a cloudy sky, more trees make a
thick wall of foliage at the far end
of the field.
Between the trees and the field, a few
homes' rooftops peek above the long blades of
dry grass.
Slowly, the light in the sky dims.
Adam stands with his eyes closed and his
jaw tight.
He blinks his eyes open.
He turns his head, then turns his whole
body around to look at the strand of
trees he had walked through.
A man, standing at the edge of the
field, turns and walks back through the trees.
Adam's eyes widen.
He stares after the man, then follows him
through the trees.
As Adam emerges from the trees into the
park, the mysterious man walks about a hundred
feet ahead.
He stops and looks back at Adam, then
keeps walking.
Adam stops at the edge of the trees
and tilts his head as he watches him.
He hesitantly continues to follow.
Now Adam walks toward a main street, where
a hair salon sits beside a little market
called Sanderstead Village Store.
Glancing over his shoulder, he crosses the street
toward the market.
As he approaches the glass storefront, he sees
the mysterious man inside.
Adam turns his attention back toward the street.
The mysterious man exits the store and stops
before Adam.
In his early thirties, he wears his hair
and moustache neatly trimmed and sports a brown
leather jacket.
Adam smiles cordially.
The man lifts a bottle wrapped in a
plastic shopping bag.
He opens a fresh pack of cigarettes and
offers one to Adam.
Adam shakes his head.
The man puts a cigarette between his lips.
He lights his smoke and takes a drag
as he eyes Adam.
Letting out a puff of smoke, he smirks
and walks off.
Adam watches him with a quizzical gaze, then
follows him.
Later, they wait outside the front door of
Adam's childhood home.
She's going to be over the moon to
see you.
A woman opens the door.
Guess who I found later in the park?
Is it him?
Yeah, it's definitely him.
Look in his eyes.
As he goes inside, the woman peers at
Adam.
Yes, it is you.
Adam stares back at the young, dark-haired
woman.
Hi.
Hi.
Don't just stand there.
Get yourself inside.
Later, the three of them sit at a
dining table.
So where are you living now?
Not around here, I'm sure.
I'm in London.
Oh, how fancy.
Whereabouts?
Do you live by yourself?
Do you own your own place?
Yeah, it's just a flat.
What did I tell you?
What did I tell you?
I told you we'd do well for himself,
didn't I?
Can't be cheap, living up there in the
smoke.
And what is it that you do?
I'm a writer.
And what did I tell you?
No, no, no.
I'm not particularly rich or anything.
Sorry.
No, I always knew you'd be creative.
She cuffs Adam's face in her hands and
kisses his cheek.
What kind of writer are you?
You know how I love Stephen King, Carrie,
Cujo, different seasons.
No, no, no, I'm not a proper writer.
I write scripts for film, TV, when I
have to.
A writer.
God, this is so bloody exciting.
If I knew the neighbours, I'd run over
and I'd tell them right now.
I've always said that writers know less about
the real world than almost anyone else.
What the hell would you know?
You're barely right joined up.
It's true.
They both smile proudly at Adam.
A writer.
Our son.
Adam's dad puts his hand on Adam's.
We're very bloody pleased to see you doing
so well, then.
Here.
Look at that puffy shit.
Our boy's back home.
They hold up their drinks for a toast.
Later...
What are you putting on?
Adam's dad puts on a record.
Oh, you'll see.
Oh, do you remember your little red car
that you had?
You loved it and you wanted to take
it out onto the main road and drive
it with all the big cars.
It's my first memory, actually.
It was a Ford Granada that hit him,
wasn't it?
No, it was.
It was racing green.
Do you remember that?
It flung you like a rag doll.
You went so high up in the air,
I'll never forget it.
Oh, but you were fine, though.
You were fine.
You had a couple of bruises.
I think they thought I was exaggerating when
I took you in.
What about that one bonfire night when you
lost it?
Remember that?
Bonfire night?
How old were you?
Six?
No, he was not.
He was older than that.
The fireworks went off.
The poor boy started screaming and howling.
Had to carry him all the way home.
He did?
Yeah.
He fell asleep on my shoulder.
I don't remember that.
You were really beside yourself.
You were really having a hard time.
We were just trying to get you to
enjoy the fireworks.
You've always been a sensitive boy.
Are you still afraid of fireworks now?
No.
Do you know what he said on that?
He said, just like my mother.
He does.
Doesn't he?
You know that.
He did say something like that.
Yeah, it's when he speaks to me.
Later, Adam watches his parents dance.
Outside the house, his dad gives him a
big hug.
It's so bloody lovely to see you again.
I wasn't sure we ever would.
But here we are.
Here we are.
He gives Adam a quick kiss and steps
aside.
His mother embraces him.
Come back soon, hmm?
One of us will be in.
Smiling with a perplexed expression, Adam nods as
his mother rubs his shoulders.
Please.
His mother looks him in the eyes and
he nods.
Yeah, I will.
Good.
Let's go, then.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Goodnight, son.
Goodnight.
Adam's father puts his arm around his wife
and escorts her back to the house.
Adam turns to go, then glances back at
his parents.
He blinks, lips parted.
He stands at the end of the driveway
by the tan sedan.
Hands in his pockets, Adam slowly walks away.
Later, as Adam rides in the back of
a car, he gazes out the window.
In a sort of daze, he arrives at
his apartment building.
He trudges through the lobby.
As he reaches for a closed glass door,
he sees Harry on the other side, waiting
for a lift.
Adam opens the door.
Harry looks over as Adam joins him in
front of the lifts.
Adam keeps his gaze averted and puts his
hands in his pockets.
Hello.
Hi.
Later, they ride the lift together.
I'm really sorry about the other night.
It's alright.
Don't worry about it.
See ya.
See ya.
Harry steps off.
I actually do like whisky, if you want
to have a drink.
The door slides closed between them.
Adam winces and shakes his head.
As the lift continues up, Adam presses his
lips together and turns away from the door.
He hangs his head and shakes it again.
In his dark bedroom, Adam lies on his
pillows, gazing at the old photographs.
He lowers them to his chest and shuts
his eyes.
A small smile lifts his lips as he
drifts off to sleep.
Morning, Adam wakes.
Blinking groggily, he holds up a hand to
block the light from the window.
He props himself up on one elbow, rubs
his eye, and gulps some water from a
glass on the nightstand.
Sitting all the way up, he blinks some
more, then looks over at the photos now
resting on the nightstand beside the empty glass.
Later, an album sleeve for Now That's What
I Call Music 10 lies beside a record
player.
Nearby, Adam types at his desk.
A small smirk lifts the corner of his
mouth as he works.
Later, Adam paces in front of his floor
-to-ceiling windows, clicking a pen at his
side.
As he glances down toward the street below,
he stops moving and stares.
He puts down his pen and picks up
a pair of binoculars.
Through them, he focusses on Harry standing on
the ground below.
Looking up toward Adam's window, he waves.
Adam lowers the binoculars and gives a goofy
grin.
He lifts his hand to wave back.
Hi.
Later, he opens his apartment door for Harry.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
Do you want to come in?
Sure.
Harry steps inside, and they awkwardly stand facing
each other in the living room.
Do you want a drink?
Yeah.
What have you got?
I've got vodka and some beer with some
weed, I'd be proud.
Yeah, weed's better.
I'm off alcohol.
Harry wanders over to the window as Adam
sits on the sofa and prepares a vape.
Do you like living here?
I think I like it more when people
move in, if people move in.
Have you got friends nearby?
No, not really.
Do you?
No, not really.
Most of my friends have moved out of
London.
They want to have gardens for their kids.
They want to be near their grandparents so
they can look after their kids.
I'm guessing you didn't want to move too?
No.
Harry joins Adam on the sofa.
What am I going to do in Dorky?
It's not for people like me.
As Adam takes a hit from the vape,
Harry looks him over.
I'm just checking you are queer, right?
Yeah.
That's good.
Adam grins bashfully and looks down.
Or gay.
I can't get used to calling myself queer,
I was always such an insult.
That's probably why we hate gay so much
now.
I mean, it was always like, your haircut's
gay, the sofa's gay, your trainers are gay,
your schoolbag's gay.
Yeah.
Queer does feel polite somehow though, you know?
Harry takes a hit from the vape.
I don't know, it's like all the dick
sucking's been taken out.
Yeah.
I'm assuming you're not with anyone?
I never see you with anyone?
No.
You often single?
Am I often single?
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
I suppose so, yeah.
Are you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not for want of trying.
How about I kiss you?
No, wait.
Ooh.
Sorry.
You all right?
No, yeah, yeah.
Just haven't done this.
What?
I haven't done this in a while.
Just remember to breathe.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It's okay.
You're good.
You all right?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Adam caresses his cheek as the kiss intensifies.
Later, Harry stands shirtless in the living room
looking at Adam's old photos.
It's you?
I'm afraid it is.
Man, you were cute.
I hate my photos.
I was a fat kid.
All right, but when you're a fat kid,
no one asks why you don't have a
girlfriend.
We'd have been friends for sure, though.
Bunked off football to spy on the boys.
Adam hangs his head.
Harry picks up another photo.
Is this your dad?
Yeah.
He's handsome.
Yeah.
I'm trying to write about him at the
moment.
Is that what you do?
Yeah.
How's it going?
Uh, strangely.
I don't see my dad much.
Do you see yours?
No, they died just before I was 12.
Both of them?
Yeah.
Yeah, car crash.
Not the most original of deaths.
I'm really sorry.
No, thanks.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, I don't think that matters.
Harry meets his gaze sincerely.
Wow.
Adam looks away with a shrug.
As Adam looks at the photos, Harry straightens
up and faces him.
I'd like to see you again.
Yeah, okay.
I could stay the night if you...
Adam shifts on his feet.
How about actually, better idea, not tonight?
Yeah?
No, no, I would like to see you
again.
You don't need to explain.
Adam gathers up the photos.
Okay.
Thanks.
Now Adam sits on the train watching the
trees blur past his window.
In a rainstorm, he walks with his shoulders
hunched, down an alleyway, between two wooden fences.
He comes to the front door of his
childhood home, and rings the bell.
As his mother opens the inner wooden door,
his reflection in the glass door merges with
her face on the other side.
She opens the door.
Sweetheart, you came back.
Of course I came back.
Jesus, you're sodden.
Come on, take it all off.
No, I'm not taking my clothes off.
Don't be silly.
It's only me.
Come on, arms up.
I'll put them in the dryer.
She helps him take off his sweater.
It's just me today, is that all right?
Yeah, of course it is.
Good.
There's so much I want to know, I
want to hear everything.
Right, go on, upstairs, get changed.
My goodness, this is so exciting.
In his undershirt, Adam looks up the stairs.
As his mum hurries off, he hesitantly heads
up.
Upstairs, he pushes open a bedroom door with
a no trespassing sign on it.
Pausing in the entryway, he takes in the
child's room.
A Frankie Goes to Hollywood poster hangs on
the wall.
Adam steps past it and looks around with
a thoughtful frown.
A boombox sits on a desk beside a
stack of board games.
Adam flips through some albums, including Erasure's The
Circus and Frankie Goes to Hollywood's Welcome to
the Pleasure Dome.
Adam runs his thumb over a cartoonish illustration
of the band members on the cover.
Blinking, he sets them aside.
Adam passes a shelf where an army action
figure sits without trousers.
He flips through a notebook with mostly blank
pages, save for one with his name written
a few times in block letters.
He brings the notebook to his nose for
a sniff.
Later, he stands at an open wardrobe and
takes out a shirt on a hanger.
Reflected in a mirror, his mother peeks in
behind him.
Adam bashfully peels off his wet undershirt.
As he takes off his shoes, his mother
puts a hand to his chest.
She looks him over with wide eyes and
gives her head a little shake.
He smiles at her.
She puts her hand on his cheek as
she gazes at him with a sad smile.
And I thought you'd be hairier, like your
dad.
Okay, sorry.
Like a hairy chest myself.
As she watches him, her brow wrinkles.
Christ, you know who you remind me of?
Uh, who?
You look just like my dad.
Do you?
Hmm.
I remember him anyway when I was a
little girl.
God, isn't that mad?
It's like seeing you both exactly the same
time.
Adam puts on a v-neck sweater and
some pants.
Oh, I've made your favourite.
Well, I hope it's still your favourite.
I'll just go and pop the kettle on
and then you can tell me everything.
As she leaves the room, Adam sits to
put on a sock.
His smile fades and he looks around, blinking.
He licks his lips and swallows hard.
From outside, the window frames him as he
stands and looks straight out.
Later, his mother watches him from the kitchen.
As he takes a bite of food, he
tilts his head back and nods.
Now, your dad told me not to ask.
I don't see a wedding ring, so I'm
presuming you're not married, but have you got
a girlfriend?
Hmm?
I'm picturing her with brown hair, not too
skinny, smart, obviously.
Adam looks down at his plate.
Well?
Well what?
Do you?
I don't have a girlfriend.
Oh.
That's a shame.
He sits down across from her at a
counter.
She pours milk in his teacup and some
in her own.
I don't have a girlfriend because I'm not
into girls, into women.
What do you mean?
I mean...
Adam looks her in the eyes.
I'm gay.
As in homosexual?
As in, uh, that, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Since when?
Uh, since a long time.
How long?
Forever.
You don't look gay.
Well, I'm not sure what that means.
It means what it means, you know what
it means.
She pours tea into their cups, keeping her
eyes averted from him.
Well, I bet you're glad you don't know
the neighbours now.
I must admit, I'm a bit surprised.
I'm not really sure what I feel about
it.
What, you didn't think it would be a
possibility?
No, of course not.
What parent wants to think that about their
child?
No parent that I know.
Well, I'm very okay with it, so.
But aren't people nasty to you?
No, no, things are different now.
Well, so they aren't nasty?
Not out loud, anyway.
But does everybody know?
I mean, are you open about it?
I mean, I don't know, down the high
street at W8 Smith's?
Well, it depends on the street.
Yeah, everybody knows.
Everyone's fine.
Well, don't you want to get married and
have kids?
I can have kids.
Men can marry.
Women, too.
Her jaw drops.
What, to each other?
Yeah.
Why?
What do you mean, why?
Well, isn't that like having your cake and
eating it?
Adam stares at her with a quizzical brow.
So, do you want to get married and
have kids?
I don't know.
It wasn't a possibility for such a long
time, I didn't think it was worth the
effort of wanting to get married and have
kids.
He smiles incredulously as he lifts his tea.
His mother starts to sip her tea, then
grimaces, goes to the sink and dumps it
out.
Adam watches as she stands agitatedly at the
sink.
You okay?
Fine.
Sure?
I suppose I never did know what was
going on in that odd little head of
yours.
You were always running away.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
It was that time that you got as
far as the train station, but then you'd
lost your money and so you couldn't buy
a ticket.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, it was Granny's five pound note.
Yeah, that was it.
Where were you hoping to go?
Adam shakes his head and shrugs his lips.
To hell.
London, I guess.
London.
God.
He rubs his eyes.
Oh, there was that time that you got
as far as the bottom of the garden,
but then you cut your thumb on an
old milk bottle and you came running back
up all sheepish, blood all over your shirt
and you were banging and banging from that
window to be let in.
There it is.
Just.
She rubs his thumb then takes his hand.
They say it's a very lonely kind of
life.
Adam wrinkles his nose and pulls his hand
away.
They don't actually say that anymore.
So you're not lonely.
He looks down, a tear glistening on his
cheek.
If I am, it's not because I'm gay.
Not really.
Not really.
They look at one another.
Adam lowers his gaze.
His mother sits back, her brow furrowed.
Oh, God, and what about this awful ghastly
disease?
I've seen the adverts on the news and
with the gravestone.
Should I be worried about that?
No.
Jesus.
Everything is different now.
Adam's gaze hardens as he looks at his
mother.
Everything is different.
She looks down.
I guess I wouldn't know about that.
She lifts her gaze to Adam, who blinks.
He stares at his mother, who takes a
deep breath and glances away.
Your clothes will be dry now.
You can take these flapjacks with you if
you want.
I won't be eating them.
Back on the train, the window reflects Adam's
face as it speeds past the trees outside.
Later, Adam returns home.
Trudging into his apartment, he tosses his keys
aside and takes off his sweater.
He sits down and stares off wearily.
As he swallows, he winces a bit and
works his jaw.
He opens his door for Harry.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'm okay.
Just got a bit of a chill.
Hey.
You're hot.
Yeah.
I just got caught in the rain.
Okay.
Well, why don't I run you a hot
bath?
My nan says there's literally nothing a hot
bath couldn't solve.
I don't really like baths.
Fuck off.
Who doesn't like baths?
You don't need to be shy around me.
Yes.
It's easier said than done.
In the bathroom, Harry watches as Adam pulls
down his pants.
Adam grins bashfully at him.
Would you like me to close my eyes?
Yes, please.
Later, Adam lies in the tub.
Harry gently strokes his forehead.
I've been thinking about you all week today.
I was thinking about watching crappy TV with
you on a Friday night.
Eating takeaway on your sofa.
Watching old episodes of Top of the Pops
before I was born.
Thought about something else too.
Thought about fucking you.
I am?
Yeah.
Only that you fucking me, I don't really
care which.
I'm into that.
Adam meets Harry's gaze and nods.
Yeah.
It's okay if you're not real.
Don't need to be into fucking.
I wasn't for the longest time, for obvious
reasons.
Obvious reasons?
I felt that if I fucked anyone, I'd
die.
It's probably pretty difficult for you to imagine.
I'm not old.
Later in bed, Harry lies on top of
Adam.
Adam briefly lifts his head off the mattress,
then relaxes back.
As Harry sinks on top of him, Adam
grips the back of his head and his
bare back.
As their naked bodies move together, Adam slides
his hand toward the small of Harry's back,
then squeezes his rear.
As the two lovers kiss, Adam runs his
fingers through Harry's hair.
Later, Harry lies on his back while Adam
runs his hand up and down his chest.
You said the other day you don't see
your dad much.
Yeah.
How about your mom?
Yeah.
Yeah, same.
How come?
They know you're queer?
Yeah, of course.
Are you okay with this?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, they brought you to old school.
Probably less okay than everyone's meant to be.
Yeah.
But I got used to it, sort of.
Just don't say too much.
You could say that I have drifted to
the edge.
All right, up to the edge, almost.
Over the edge.
What's that mean?
Yeah, I'm on the edge of the family.
My sister and her kids.
My older brother just got married.
They've all got this spot in the centre.
That's okay.
Why is it okay?
Because I don't go home much.
Does that make you sad?
No, I think it's just inevitable, really.
Why?
I've always felt like a stranger in my
own family.
And then coming out just puts an end
to that difference.
It's always been there.
It's only in this.
It's not really anyone's fault.
The corners of Adam's lips lower into a
deep frown.
He shakes his head and blinks his teary
eyes.
What's wrong?
He scratches the bridge of his nose with
his thumb as he gazes off.
It's funny.
Things are better now.
Of course they are.
It doesn't take much to make you feel
the way you felt.
Back there again, it's game over all.
He gazes off with his head resting on
his arm.
Glancing at Harry, he rubs his eyes.
Are they still hot?
Harry touches his forehead.
It's a little.
Adam gazes toward Harry with a gentle smile,
then kisses his arm.
His knuckles and thumb graze the stubble on
Harry's chin.
Adam gives Harry's arm a squeeze and gazes
into his face.
You wanna stay the night?
With a happy chuckle, Harry nods.
Adam resumes rubbing his chest.
Daytime, the tower block stands tall against the
blue sky.
Now, Adam sits on the train, gazing out
the window as another train passes beside him.
He turns his gaze toward a father and
a 10-year-old boy seated side by
side.
The father smiles as he chats with people
seated across from him.
Frowning, the boy turns his gaze from the
window and looks at Adam.
Adam stares back a moment, then turns his
attention back to his window.
At his childhood home, Adam rings the bell.
Inside, Adam stands with his dad.
I'm sure she won't be long.
It's okay.
Just wanted to talk to her.
Yeah, I know you did.
His dad puts on a record.
This was your granddad's favourite.
I never really liked it much at the
time, but it's grounded me.
Adam picks up a figurine.
If you wanna see your mom really lose
her shit, go ahead and break that bloody
thing.
His dad sits down.
Come on, little lad, sit yourself down.
He lights a cigarette as Adam sits on
a sofa.
Avoiding eye contact, he blows out some smoke,
then lowers his gaze to his lap.
Adam watches him.
What she told you then?
I was scared he wouldn't come back.
But you know what your mom's like, you
know?
Don't be too disappointed in her.
No, I'm not.
She just needs to rearrange some things in
her head and all the stories that she's
built up.
She'll soon realise it's not actually about her.
Keeping his gaze locked on his dad, Adam
nods.
What about you?
What about me?
What do you think?
His dad shrugs.
I mean, it was hardly a shock.
I always knew you were a bit tooty
-frooty.
You couldn't throw a ball for shit no
matter how many times I tried to teach
you.
Jesus.
Couldn't for shit, couldn't for shit.
Make me sound like a horrible cliche.
Well, can you throw a ball?
Not at all.
Well, there you go.
Adam looks down and chuckles to himself.
Would you have liked me to have known?
I don't know.
I would hear you crying in your room
after school.
Did the boys bully you then?
Not just the boys.
What would they do?
Uh, call me a girl.
Ignore me, refuse to play with me, stick
my head down the toilet, flick drawing pens
in my face.
Exactly.
Yeah.
No.
No.
Gives you a little cancer on there.
Adam regards his father, his lips perched in
a small frown.
He shakes his head thoughtfully.
So why didn't you come into my room
and hear me crying?
Why didn't you tell me what was happening
at school?
You know, you answer me first.
Be honest.
I just didn't want to think of you
as the kind of boy that the other
lads would pick on.
And, uh, I knew that if I was
at your school, I'd probably pick on you
too.
Yeah, I think I always probably thought that
anyway.
Probably why I didn't tell you what was
happening to me at school.
Adam's father shrugs his shoulder a bit and
takes another drag from his cigarette.
He stands and takes the needle off the
record.
You know, when she told me, it did
make me think about all the jokes that
we make.
You know, we did impressions of your English
teacher when he'd mince around with his limp
wrist.
And you told me not to cross my
legs like a woman over and over and
over again.
Did I?
Yeah, I still think about it every time
I cross my legs.
I have good memories too.
I hope so.
Okay, I hope so.
I hope you did.
Remember, you used to love decorating the tree.
You were crazy for us every year.
And you'd always let me put the finger
on top of the tree.
They both smile a little.
Adam's smile fades as he watches his father.
Keeping his head bowed, Adam's father looks down
at the floor and rubs his brow.
He rubs his moustache and faces Adam while
keeping his gaze averted.
I'm sorry I never gave any room when
you were crying.
No, really, it's okay.
Let's not get there, Elizabeth.
It's not, Dad.
Dad, I get it.
It was so long.
It was so long.
Stop.
Adam covers his face with his hands.
His father's jaw twitches emotionally.
He stands and looks down at his son
who continues to hide his face.
Can I hug you now?
Yeah, please.
Adam stands and his dad envelops him in
a loving embrace.
You're all right, son.
You're all right.
You're all right.
Adam stares over his father's shoulder into a
mirror.
In the reflection, his father embraces his younger
self and kisses the top of his head.
Later, the train speeds alongside tracks.
Adam gazes out the window with a serene
expression.
Later at home, Adam removes Harry's jacket and
backs him against a wall wearing a lascivious
grin.
He unbuckles Harry's belt.
After this...
Now Adam walks alone down the street.
I want to go home.
You and me.
Together.
On a tube train, Adam rubs Harry's arm.
Into the world.
Later, Harry follows Adam into a crowded nightclub.
Adam glances back at Harry and says something,
then moves on.
They squeeze their way through a crowd of
dancing bodies.
Reaching a bar, Adam turns and speaks into
Harry's ear.
What do you want to drink?
A bartender hands two pints to Adam.
He gives one to Harry, and they make
their way back through the packed club.
Harry bumps into a few people as he
passes.
Oh, sorry.
You want a drink?
Sorry.
They find a seat by a mirror lit
by a strip of red light.
Later, Adam returns to their seats with more
drinks.
Oh, come on, you're going to miss this.
I can't hear you.
So do you dance?
For who I set it up?
Let's get wasted enough.
Each down the shot and suck on a
lime wedge, Harry stands up.
Come on.
He pulls Adam up and with their fingers
entwined, they disappear into a sea of dancing
bodies.
Later, Adam grins at Harry as he bounces
to the beat.
And the club goers with raised arms, Adam
and Harry move to the music.
Adam opens his mouth in a joyful smile
and throws his hands into the air.
Now, Harry locks him in a bathroom stall
and takes out a tiny baggie of white
powder.
Where'd you get this?
I found it in my wallet.
Fuck knows how long it's been there.
Using a key, he scoops the powder and
sniffs it into his nose.
Adam sniffs some as well.
I think that's cat beat.
Oh, really?
Have you done it before?
No.
You look after me.
They kiss passionately against the wall.
Back on the dance floor, Adam stares glassy
-eyed, his lips in a tight oak shape.
In front of him, Harry smiles as he
dances in slow motion.
The images of their faces merge together briefly.
Harry's form blurs together with other people dancing
around him.
Now in a shadowy corner of the bar,
Adam and Harry hold each other close.
A stream of light silhouettes them as they
kiss passionately, their hands caressing one another.
Their image blurs into those of people on
the dance floor, then to light bouncing off
a disco ball and beams that cut through
the smoky air.
To another party As Harry dances, Adam watches
him, his head tilted slightly to one side,
his gaze drifts.
Now Adam and Harry lie together in bed.
Harry talks, moving his hand animatedly.
Morning, Adam wakes in his bed next to
a snoozing Harry.
Later in the kitchen, Harry stirs eggs in
a pan.
Behind him, Adam comes from around a corner,
putting on a robe.
Later, Adam lounges on his sofa, typing on
his laptop.
He looks across the room to Harry, who
reads as a record spins on a turntable.
Now a band plays on the TV.
Harry sits on the sofa munching on a
slice of pizza.
Adam lies with his head resting on Harry's
lap.
The caption on the TV reads, Frankie goes
to Hollywood, the power of love.
In the bathroom, Harry brushes his teeth while
Adam dries the back of Harry's neck and
shoulders with a towel.
Sitting on the floor in front of the
window, Adam and Harry each select a small
piece of something from a jar.
They eat it.
As they gaze into each other's eyes, Harry
smiles.
At night, Adam sits up watching TV as
Harry sleeps with his head on his lap.
Adam strokes Harry's hair.
In bed, the two of them sleep with
their backs to each other.
Now Adam sits up in bed alone.
He looks out at the city lights outside
his window.
He lowers his feet to the floor and
steps toward the window.
He enters the nightclub.
Clubgoers move listlessly to music.
Adam walks among them, searching the crowd.
A shirtless young man walking in the opposite
direction saddles up close past Adam, and they
smile slyly at one another.
Adam moves on, searching the crowd in the
strobing light.
He nearly bumps into a young woman as
he catches himself on a pole.
He woosily closes his eyes and stretches his
neck.
As he regains his balance, he catches his
reflection in the mirror and sees Harry standing
behind him.
Adam smiles at him.
Suddenly, his smile fades.
He shuts his eyes and wobbles unsteadily on
his feet.
Adam lets out a primal scream.
Harry disappears.
Now in bed, Adam's eyes open.
He shifts under the pastel striped sheets and
his hand brushes against a small wooden headboard
with stickers on it.
As he runs his fingers along the wall,
his arm turns into that of a child
wearing pyjamas.
Now Adam walks downstairs in his childhood home
in stockinged feet in a bathrobe.
He pauses at the bottom, his hands on
the bannister.
Tinsel garlands hang on a wall of family
photos.
Adam approaches a closed door and slowly pushes
it open.
Inside, he finds his parents decorating a Christmas
tree.
Adam, what's wrong?
His mother feels his face.
Oh, you're really hot.
Harry's really hot.
His dad puts the back of his hand
against Adam's forehead.
He gives Adam an ornament.
Squeeze in, squeeze in, squeeze in.
Adam joins his parents around the tree.
He looks at the tree for a moment
and sits down on the floor and adds
the ornament to a lower branch.
His mother looks down toward him.
Tears fill her eyes.
I'm so sorry I was blind.
You were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love
isn't done.
Adam's dad holds up the angel tree topper
with a playful shake.
Adam grins.
One more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied.
He stands up and adds the angel to
the top of the tree.
Adam's mother gives him a kiss on the
cheek as his dad sets up a camera
on a tripod.
Okay, get together.
Yeah, yeah, you ready?
I'm going to impress it.
Adam's dad quickly joins them in front of
the tree.
Adam puts his arm around him as they
pose.
He's fantastic.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
There you go.
As the camera flashes, a photograph shows young
Adam posing in front of the tree with
his parents.
The photo fades into the Frankie Goes to
Hollywood music video.
Now Adam lies in his childhood bed.
Is this real?
Does it feel real?
Yeah.
There you go then.
For how long though?
I can't answer that.
I suppose we don't get to decide when
it's over.
His mother leans down and gives him a
gentle kiss on the forehead.
He holds on to her hand.
You're not going out now, are you?
Where would we go?
The Walsh's.
The Walsh's?
The Walsh's?
No, no, wait.
You promised me you're not going to go
out now.
I promise.
We're just going to be asleep next door.
His mother nods.
I promise.
Adam's eyes narrow.
Get some sleep.
She shuts off his bedside lamp.
Adam watches her leave the room.
He quickly lifts his head off the pillow.
He tries to settle back down.
He rubs his face.
In the hall.
What is this we are?
Adam stands outside a bedroom door.
I can't sleep.
He slowly pushes open the door.
His mother lies awake beside his sleeping father.
Do you want to get in?
Can I?
Of course you can.
She pats her husband's shoulder and he groggily
rolls over to the far side of the
bed.
Adam climbs in between them and gets under
the covers.
He settles down on his side, facing his
mother, who lies on her back, eyes open.
It still smells the same in here.
You'd creep in here night after night saying
you couldn't sleep.
You're always scared of something.
Murderers breaking in or rabies or nuclear war.
Do people still get rabies?
No.
Oh.
I was desperate for you to grow up
just so I could get a good night's
sleep.
She shuts her eyes.
Adam watches her.
Sorry.
What are you sorry for?
She turns her head to face him.
I'm the sorry one.
Should have realised you're driving me bananas.
She smiles warmly at him.
His lips lift in a small smile.
She shifts onto her side so they can
lie face to face.
Where did you go?
You know, afterwards.
Lived with Granny.
She took me to Dublin.
Yeah, I thought so.
Why didn't you live with his lot?
Why didn't you live with Granny May?
They said she was too heartbroken.
About what?
Well, she'd lost her son.
Oh, I see.
But my mother was fine about losing her
only daughter.
No, no.
She was not fine.
I just can't believe that she got to
look after you and I didn't.
Are any of them still around now?
Adam shakes his head.
No.
No, they wouldn't be, would they?
Then how did you get on over there
with Mum?
Did you manage to fit in better at
school?
I made sure I did.
He shuts his eyes and settles more into
the pillow he shares with his mother.
I hate that we weren't around when you
needed us most, Will.
And I hate even more that I wasn't
there before that, not really.
No, that's not true.
Oh, come on.
I was hardly Mother of the Year, was
I?
But I like to think that I would
have got better at it in time.
You know, given time.
You know, when I was a teenager, or
even later, into my 20s, I used to
plot it all out.
Do you mean?
What we might have done together.
In intricate detail.
Trips to the Whitgift Centre.
Birthdays.
Trips to London.
The Planetarium.
The London Dungeon.
Oh, I always wanted to go there.
I know.
There were holidays that we might have gone
on together.
Oh, did we make it to Disneyland?
We did.
When I was 14.
It rained non-stop.
And they shut down Space Mountain.
And we fought every day.
Why did we have to fight?
Because that's what everyone did with their parents.
They fought and bickered and pretended that they
were ruining each other's lives.
Did we make up?
No, we didn't need to make up.
We were together.
So.
So did Mother.
Gazing into Adam's eyes, she puts her hand
on his face and strokes his cheek with
her thumb.
You okay?
A hand reaches out to his shoulder from
behind.
No.
You're okay, son.
Adam takes his mother's hand in his and
with his other hand grips the one on
his shoulder.
As he feels the fingers, his eyes widen
and he turns to find Harry behind him.
You're okay.
Adam turns more to face him.
Are you two in here?
You're not supposed to be here.
Harry kisses Adam.
They hold each other's faces in their hands
as they kiss.
Adam smiles.
Adam's smile quickly fades as a faint blue
light flashes over them.
He looks at Harry with a quizzical expression,
then turns back over to find his mother
gone.
He puts his hand on the pillow where
her head had been.
He turns over and finds Harry gone.
He stares up at the ceiling.
Suddenly, Adam wakes with a start on the
train.
He breathes hard as people on a station
platform walk past his window.
He sees Harry walk past.
Harry meets Adam's gaze as he continues walking.
In the station, Harry trots down a flight
of stairs.
Far behind him, Adam hurries to catch up.
As he moves briskly, Adam's gaze shifts to
posters on the wall denouncing drinking and driving.
He boards an underground train.
Holding onto a pole, he scans the people
in the car.
His jaw tense, Adam looks around with a
disconcerted gaze.
Turning his head, he spots Harry through a
doorway in the next car over.
As a passenger shifts in front of the
door, Harry disappears.
Adam's brow furrows and he swallows hard.
He covers his mouth with his elbow.
He makes his way over to an empty
seat and sits while trying to cover his
hacking cough.
He woosily tilts his head back and feels
his forehead with the back of his hand.
In front of him, his reflection in the
dark window stretches as he covers his ears.
The reflection changes to that of his younger
self.
Adam lurches trying to hold in more coughs.
His young reflection screams.
Adam wakes up in his own bed beside
Harry.
You look so scared.
Adam stares wide-eyed into the distance.
Hey, come here, come here.
Harry pulls him into a tight embrace.
I'm here, it's okay.
You're okay.
A view from the living room through the
bedroom doorway shows Harry with Adam in the
bed.
I was sleeping in their bed the night
they went out.
I was meant to go with them to
Christmas drinks at the Walsh's.
Now Adam stands in the shower.
Around midnight, two police came to the door,
a man and a woman.
Later, he stands in front of the mirror,
gazing off.
He had really beautiful, kind eyes and this
thick, dark stubble.
It looked like it had been drawn on.
The car skidded on black ice.
Both of them had been drinking.
He sits on the sofa with Harry.
Dad was killed right away, but they took
mum to St Mary's in Croydon and she
died a few days later.
Did you get to see her?
What, do you mean, she didn't say goodbye?
Mm-hmm, yeah.
No, my granny told her it would be
too scarring.
Mum went through the windscreen and she lost
an eye, so she was pretty fucked up.
Jesus.
Yeah.
I went looking for that eye.
I don't know why.
I didn't want anyone else to find it.
I thought it would be on the side
of the road.
Staring up at me.
I did find a tiny piece of the
windscreen glass then.
Adam lowers his gaze.
My head had had blood on it, but
maybe that's not true.
The nurse said that mum woke up just
before she died.
I must have been so confused, I could
hardly see.
Dad wasn't there, I wasn't there.
I can't even begin to imagine how you
felt.
How lonely you must have been.
Yeah, but I'd always felt lonely, even before.
This is a new feeling.
Like terror.
That I'd always be alone now.
And then as I got older, that feeling
just solidified.
Just a knot here all the time.
And then losing them, I just got tangled
up with all the other stuff.
About being gay.
It's just a feeling like the future doesn't
matter.
Adam looks off, shaking his head.
Harry stares distantly.
Does that make sense?
He lifts his teary eyes to Adam and
nods.
Yeah.
I know how easy it can be to
stop caring about yourself.
He puts his hand on Adam's shoulder.
Yeah.
Adam reaches toward him and Harry smiles a
little.
Adam lowers his gaze with a pained look
on his face.
Adam.
He shakes his head a little then lifts
his gaze to meet Harry's.
Will you come with me?
Where to?
Just let me show you.
Adam cups Harry's face in his hand and
gently rubs his ear.
Later, Harry and Adam sit next to each
other on the train.
Harry stares out the window with his curled
fingers to his lips.
Reflected in the glass, Adam turns to look
at him.
Harry glances at Adam then returns his stare
to the window.
At night, Adam rings the doorbell at his
childhood home.
Whose house is this?
My parents.
Yeah.
Who lives here now?
Adam smiles and pats Harry's shoulder.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
Adam waits staring at the door then heads
around a bush and peers into a window.
He knocks on the glass.
Hello?
Adam.
Harry shifts uncomfortably.
Adam heads back around the bush and pushes
through a side gate.
Harry follows him to a closed side door.
Hello?
Where are they?
Who?
Adam heads around a corner to the back
of the house.
Hello?
Who?
My parents.
This is our house.
This is our kitchen.
This is our wallpaper.
That's our table where we had fish and
chips every Friday night so my mother could
pretend we were still Catholic.
Adam, I want to go home.
Let me take you home.
This is my home.
No, it used to be.
Mum!
Adam!
Dad!
Adam, please let me take you home.
Look, you go home.
You go home.
I'm not going.
Adam bangs on a French door.
Where are they?
Mum?
Dad!
Harry goes to stop him but his gaze
catches on something inside.
Can you see them?
Wide-eyed, Harry backs away from Adam and
the door.
Inside, Adam's parents' ghostly forms stand motionless staring
at them.
Please.
Please let me in.
Please let me in.
Adam's fist breaks the glass.
Now, Adam lies on his side.
His eyes blink open.
He looks up at his uninjured hand.
We're not allowing him to get in.
It's not normal.
It's too soon.
It's not normal.
Why didn't you let us in?
His parents turn away from a window and
toward Adam.
Where is he?
Is he here?
Is Harry here?
No.
We did see him though.
His mum sits down on the edge of
the bed.
I wanted you to meet him.
I know but I don't think this works
like that.
You look like a handsome fella though.
Is he your special friend?
Do you mean my boyfriend?
Is he my boyfriend?
If you could say it.
Okay, well is he your boyfriend?
Um...
I don't know.
Adam's dad sits down beside his wife.
Are you in love with him?
Why is that so strange?
I don't know.
I've never been in love before so...
Not really.
So this...
I don't know if this is it.
Sweetheart.
Well he certainly seems to care about you
a whole heap.
In my not so humble opinion.
As his dad turns to face him, Adam
nods.
You think he'd like to be in love
with him?
Adam blinks then meets his dad's gaze and
nods again.
They share a smile.
As his dad turns away, his smile fades
and his eyes grow teary.
His mother looks away from Adam as well.
Adam sits up more in bed and looks
at them.
They bow their heads.
Adam's dad turns toward him.
Sorry, I think we need to...
No, don't say it.
Adam covers his dad's mouth.
Please don't say it.
We have to.
We have to.
Me and your mum...
We think that it's best you don't come
visit us anymore.
Just gonna keep coming and coming.
I know you are.
We can see what this is doing to
you.
It's not doing anything to me.
Yes, it is.
I won't let you move on.
Okay, well I'll come less.
I'll come once a year.
I'll come on Christmas.
Come on, lad.
You have to have known that this wasn't
gonna last forever.
I'm not asking for it to last forever.
I'm just...
It hasn't been long enough.
It hasn't been close to long enough.
Tears well up in Adam's eyes and he
puts his face in his hands.
I know, but it never could be, could
it?
Adam's father crosses his arms and his mother
turns her gaze back toward the window.
Adam's dad stares thoughtfully toward the ceiling.
He shifts closer to Adam.
Listen, I've got an idea.
How's about...
How's about we go to your favourite place
in the whole bloody world?
I'm sure it's still open.
It's the next best thing to Disneyland.
It's fucking cheaper too.
I think.
Later, a car travels past a sign for
an American diner.
Inside a nearby empty shopping mall, Adam and
his parents approach an escalator going up to
the second floor.
They ride up under a high glass ceiling.
Later, Adam sits in a restaurant booth facing
his parents.
He smiles up toward a waitress.
Uh, can I get the family special, please?
It's a lot of food.
That's okay.
As the waitress steps away, Adam nervously rubs
his knuckles together.
I'm really very hungry.
No, me neither.
His dad looks down at the table and
his mother gazes at Adam with a furrowed
brow.
I want to ask you something.
God, no, don't ask.
I'm going to ask him.
Was it quick?
Oh, Jesus, I told you not to ask.
You want to know.
But what if it was slow and horribly
painful?
It's a big difference.
It was quick.
Was it?
Yeah.
For both of us?
No, you don't seem sure.
Don't be fibbing now.
It was quick.
It was really quick.
She breathes a sigh of relief.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, well, that's a relief, isn't it?
Sorts.
It's been playing on my mind, that is.
Adam nods a little and looks down at
his hands.
You think we should say to each other?
I'm not sure I have much wisdom to
share.
I don't know, maybe Adam being older should
be sharing some with us.
Maybe we shouldn't say anything.
Maybe.
Although I will say that getting to know
you has made us very proud, son.
Adam shakes his head.
I haven't done anything to be proud of.
I've just muddled through.
Yeah, but you got through some tough times,
I'm sure.
You're still here.
And that's what we're proud of.
His mother nods in agreement as they both
gaze at Adam.
Yeah.
Adam looks from his dad to his mom
and back again.
Dad, stay.
Stay.
Stay a bit longer.
No, I don't think so, son.
I love you, darling.
His mother leans in close to her husband.
You do?
He tilts his head toward her.
Sometimes I wasn't so sure.
Whatever problems we had, I'm glad we got
to be together at the end.
He nods and she kisses his cheek.
His brow wrinkles emotionally.
I know I was never good at saying
it.
Just couldn't get the words out.
He stares at Adam.
I do love you very much.
Somehow even more now that I know you.
Adam smiles at his dad.
He bows his head.
His dad reaches across the table and squeezes
his hand.
It's important that you believe me.
I do.
I know I love you very much.
Dad?
Dad?
Dad, did you hear that?
Oh, Adam, are you there?
I can't see you.
Why can't I see you?
Adam's eyes glisten.
I'm here, mom.
They hold hands.
Oh, there you are.
She gives them a squeeze.
I can feel you.
Your skin's lovely and warm.
Will you listen?
You promised me that you were going to
try with this Harry boy.
Yeah.
I'd have liked him.
I know it.
He might need a bit of taking care
of, mind you.
He's got such a sad face.
Do you hear me?
Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
That's good.
I hope you make each other a bit
happier.
Your face lowers and she blinks.
Smiling, Adam shakes his head and a tear
rolls down his cheek.
His mother gazes across the table, her eyes
glassy and distant.
Such a kind and gentle boy.
Lips parted, she stares with an unfocused gaze.
She leans back against her seat.
As Adam watches her, his eyes brim with
tears.
The waitress approaches.
Adam moves his arms from the table and
sits back, tears staining his cheeks.
He glances up at the waitress as she
sets down three milkshakes and some food.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
As the waitress steps away, Adam blinks at
the three shakes lined up before him.
His face tenses emotionally.
Now trees blur past in front of a
low golden sun.
Adam sits on the train staring ahead.
He turns to the window and watches the
scenery go by.
Nighttime.
A red full moon hangs over the city.
In the apartment building's lift, Adam presses the
button for the sixth floor.
As he waits, he looks at his reflection
in the mirrored wall.
He turns back to face the doors, a
small smile tugging at his lips.
The floor indicator shows a six.
As the doors slide open, Adam frowns.
His eyes shift, and he steps slowly off
the lift into the hall.
He gazes down the long corridor to his
left, then turns to his right and starts
walking.
He heads toward an apartment at the end
of the hall with slow, measured steps.
A small sign on the wall reads 607.
Adam steps slow, and he tilts his head
toward the door.
He slowly presses down on the handle and
opens the apartment door.
As he steps inside, his nose wrinkles, and
he holds up his hand in front of
his nose and mouth.
Leaving the door open behind him, Adam walks
further into the apartment.
His jaw hangs slack as his gaze scans
the living room.
He notices some clothing strewn across the sofa.
He lifts the sleeve of a denim top
then sets it back down as his gaze
continues to search the room.
He crosses to a table near a TV,
playing static.
Adam picks up a tiny baggie like the
one from the nightclub bathroom.
He turns it in his fingers, then shifts
his attention to the TV.
He hits a button on a remote.
Adam's gaze fixes on a closed door on
the other side of the TV.
Jaw-tied, he slowly moves toward it.
As he reaches the pocket door, he lifts
his knuckles.
Adam slides the door open, peeks inside, then
quickly turns away and shuts the door.
Keeping his head turned from the door, Adam
shuts his eyes and works his mouth nauseatedly.
Stealing himself, he slowly turns back toward the
door and slides it open again.
As he steps inside, he covers his mouth
with the back of his hand.
He takes a few slow steps into the
room, his unblinking gaze fixed on something before
him.
Still covering his mouth, he lowers himself onto
the edge of a bed.
He lowers his hand from his face as
he takes in a body lying in the
clothes Harry was wearing the first night they
met.
Adam lifts the empty liquor bottle.
He studies it with a confused and despondent
expression.
He sets the bottle down and puts his
hand on Harry's hip.
His fingers rest near Harry's lifeless hand.
Adam bows his head sorrowfully.
He turns his attention toward the open bedroom
door.
He stands and steps back out into the
living room.
Lingering by the door, he looks toward the
kitchen and shifts on his feet.
Harry stares back at him, the liquor bottle
in his hand.
What are you doing down here?
Adam slides the bedroom door shut.
I came to find you.
Harry steps closer, rubbing his stomach.
Why are you here?
Adam blinks his teary eyes.
I said goodbye to them so I came
to see you.
Harry agitatedly rubs his chest and turns away.
Adam shakes his head.
It's okay.
It's not okay though, is it?
Harry lifts the hand holding the bottle with
a shrug.
He looks down at the bottle and tilts
his head.
I was so scared that night.
I just needed to not be alone.
I know.
Adam steps up close to Harry and looks
him in the eyes.
I'm sorry.
I was too scared to let you in.
Harry lowers his gaze.
He shifts his gaze toward the bedroom door.
I'm in there, aren't I?
Let's just go upstairs.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just need you to tell me, okay?
I can smell it.
I can taste it in my throat.
Wincing, Harry shakes his head.
How come no one found me?
Harry searches Adam's face.
It was my mom and my dad.
I found you.
No, but, Adam, I don't want you to
see me like that in there.
Adam cups Harry's face.
With me.
Eyes brimming with tears, Adam gives a reassuring
smile.
Let's just go upstairs.
Harry relaxes into a smile as Adam gently
strokes his cheek.
They kiss.
Adam looks Harry in the eye and smiles.
Now they lie on their sides in bed,
facing each other.
Adam runs his fingertips through the hair on
the top of Harry's head.
I saw her, you know, your mom, your
dad, too, at the house.
They saw you, too.
They did?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
My dad said you were a handsome fellow.
They loved you.
They both would.
Of course.
Of course.
She got to say what she wanted to
say.
I don't know.
I got to be with her.
It's good that you're all together.
Yeah.
They each blink as they gaze lovingly into
each other's eyes.
I'm scared.
I know.
But I'm here with you.
Don't let this get tangled up again.
Okay, come on.
It's so quiet.
I never could stand how quiet this place
was.
Well, you've got a record on.
What would you like?
Yeah, you choose.
I'll protect you from the Hooded Crow.
Keep the vampires from your door.
As Adam lies with Harry curled up in
his arms, the view draws up in a
way.
They keep bad at bay, bad at bay.
Love is bright, scaring darkness away.
I'm so in love with you, purge your
soul.
Make love your goal.
The power's from above.
Their entwined forms grow smaller and smaller as
the view drifts higher above them.
Flame on, burn, desire.
Love with tongues of fire.
Purge the soul.
Make love your goal.
Dozens of faint stars gradually begin to appear
around the bright circle of light in a
nighttime sky.
I'll protect you from the Hooded Crow.
Keep the vampires from your door.
When the chips are down, I'll be around
with my undying hand.
Let yourself be beautiful.
Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls.
Crushing and crushing inside of me.
The power.
This time we go sublime.
Love pleasure.
Love is pure, the only treasure.
I'm so in love with you, purge the
soul.
Make love your goal.
The power's
from above.
A skyscraping girl.
With tongues
of fire.
Purge the soul.
Make love your goal.
